Britain’s Got Talent Shows lyrics

I would like to go on a TV talent show
But when I approached them, they said no
I asked them what was wrong, they said they didn’t like my songs
So I’m gonna sort a different act out and go along
I’ll dress up in disguise and then right before their eyes
I’ll jump out from the curtain with a surprise

And I’ll go
Simon look at this: Ur hur hur hur hur
Cheryl look at this: Ur hur hur hur hur
Louie look at this: Ur hur hur hur hur
Scary Spice look at this: Ur hur hur

When I go on and do my new act the crowd will all go wild
Cos I’ll be wanking off my helmet whilst crying like a child
It will make a pleasant change, from dogs let off their leads
And the usual sh*tty dance routines by kids with special needs
Then when they sling me off the show, I’ll just go on The Voice
And even though she likes the muff, Jessie J will get all moist

When I go
Jessie J look at this: Ur hur hur hur hur
Will.I.Am look at this: Ur hur hur hur hur
Tom Jones look at this: Ur hur hur hur hur
That one from the Kaiser Chiefs look at this: Ur hur hur
Piers Morgan look at this: Ur hur hur hur hur
David Walliams look at this: Ur hur hur hur hur
Len Goodman look at this: Ur hur hur hur hur
Nasty Nigel look at this: Ur hur hur
Then I’ll turn to Amanda Holden as I wank and look bereft
And say, “This is what Les did after you left”