Meet The Matthews lyrics

D.I. RADGITT:
Allo there, I’m Detective Inspector George Radgitt. I’ve
Been in the Yorkshire police force for 40 years, man and
Boy. Now I’ve seen some unusual cases in my time as a
Copper, like that bloke who killed his little brother’s
Kestrel

But out of all of the cases I’ve been involved with
None is more bizarre than the disappearance of little
Shannon Matthews, aged nine, who went missing after a
Swimming lesson in Dewsbury. Little lass, swimming pool
Well I would normally make that Pimms O’ Clock round
Old Len Fairclough’s house but he’d kicked the bucket
About ten year previous so unless he’d been noncing
From beyond the grave it couldn’t have been him

Got us thinking though, was there a paedo in speedos on
The loose? Or had she just run away after an argument
With her family, who frankly were so dysfunctional that
They made the Fritzls look like the Brady Bunch

KAREN: Thank fook for that, Craig. That’s the last of the kids off to
School

KAREN: I said thank fook for that, Craig. That’s the last of the kids
Off to school
KAREN: I said…

CRAIG: Alright, I fookin heard you the first time! What do you
Want me to do, Karen, pull me pants and trousers down
Stick a cigar in the end of me c*ck and do a little jig?

KAREN: Even some kind of grunt would fookin do. I don’t know
What’s so interesting on that computer of yours but
Whenever you’re on it it’s like I’m fookin invisible. Can you
See me? Hello? Can you see me?

CRAIG: Course I fookin can. Christ, me eyesight’s bad but I’m
Hardly likely to miss a big ginger walrus dancing around
Right in front of me fookin nose

CRAIG: Fook off

KAREN: You fook off, you ain’t even meant to be here. Ain’t you
Got work today?

CRAIG: And you have go at me for not paying attention! I told you
Already, I’m on lates today. The new manager on the fish
Counter swapped all our shifts around

KAREN: Oh great. So you’ll be rolling in at 10 O’clock at night
Smelling like a bag lady’s snatch
CRAIG: Aye, I will. And if you’d ever done a day’s fookin work
Instead of lazing about on the sofa all day with 2 fingers
Up your fadge I might bother me arse listening to what
You’re going on about

KAREN: What do I need to go to work for? Work’s for fookin mugs
Mugs like you, goin’ out at 8 in the morning in your twatty
Uniform with a fookin name badge on. “Craig: Happy to
Help”. You? Fookin happy to help? That’s a fookin joke for
Starters!

CRAIG: Up yours! Women like a man in uniform

KAREN: Yeah, when it’s a fookin Chippendale dressed up as a
Fireman, not a fookin supermarket fishmonger. That hat
Makes you look a right c*nt!

CRAIG: Up your fookin arse

KAREN: Up your fookin arse, Spackerel! Be a cold day in hell
Before you ever saw me serving up haddock for 3 an’ half
Quid an hour, you see…