Can’t Work, Won’t Work lyrics

Karen:
You see
When I get up in the morning, I send the kids to school
I sit on the toilet and I squeeze out a stool
Then I lay on the sofa and I switch the telly on
And when Loraine Kelly's finished, Jeremy Kyle comes on

And then I watch Trisha, then Cash in the Attic
I have Going for Gold on, and I'm a Neighbours fanatic
Then is Diagnosis: Murder and Murder She Wrote
Flog It, Deal or No Deal and then the kids are home

So I make some Turkey Twizzlers and then stick 'em in a bath
And if they don't eat it up, I'll give 'em all a slap
And 'cause I worked so hard on that, I'll put up me feet
I'll watch Hollyoaks, Emmerdale, Eastenders and Coronation Street

Then I'll put The Bill on and I might have a little smoke
And watch a Channel 5 doc*mentary on the world's fattest bloke
I've normally dozed off my then but if I'm still at the races
I'll have a flick and try and find some wild police chases
I sit on my arse all day, I consider it a perk
Of the job of being unemployed and not going to work

I've never had a job, I've never had a job
'Cause every time I need the dole, I have another knob
The knob supplies the semen and I have another kid
And then the social gives me money to say well done for what I did
Craig:
Yeah, the social gave her money to say well done for what she did

K : Can't work, won't work

C: Don't send her to an interview

K : Can't work, won't work

C: She'll f*ck it up, that's what she'll do

K&C : Can't work, won't work

K : To tell the truth I'm overjoyed

K&C : Can't work, won't work

K : To live me life as unemployed

Karen:
I'd hate to work in a garage, it'll really be the pits
I wouldn't work in an aviery, It'll bore me off my tits
I couldn't work at an assault course, it would drive me up the wall
And I wouldn't volunteer for any money, let alone f*ck all

C:
She wouldn't work in security
K:
It's just too mundane

C:
She couldn't work in a mental home

K:
It'll drive me insane

C:
She wouldn't be a solider

K:
Like those pricks Robson and Jerome

C:
And she wouldn't work for a charity

K:
'Cause it begins at home

C:
She can't stand the sight of kids

K:
So I won't work in a school
C:
She'd never be a policeman

K:
I f*cking hate them all

C:
She won't work on a sewage plant

K:
I couldn't stand the muck

C:
And she couldn't work in care

K:
'Cause I really don't give a f*ck

C:
She couldn't be a bin man

K:
I'll just have to refuse

C:
She'd never be a model

K:
I just can't walk in them shoes

C:
She couldn't be a stuntman

K:
I just couldn't do the stunts

C:
And she wouldn't work for the council

K:
They're a bunch of f*cking c*nts
I sit on my arse all day, morning and afternoon
The job of being unemployed is something of a boom

I've never had a job, I've never had a job
'Cause every time I need the dole, I have another knob
The knob supplies the spunk which it deposits up me muff
And I have a kid and the money goes up until I have enough

C:
Yeah she has a kid and the money goes up until she's got enough

K&C :
Can't work, won't work

K:
A job's something for other folk

K&C:
Can't work, won't work

K:
I can't be arsed to do a stroke

K&C:
Can't work, won't work

K:
I ain't doing other people's chores

K&C:
Can't work, won't work

K:
f*ck that sh*t, I'll stay indoors
f*ck THAT sh*t I'LL STAY INDOORS!