Nobody Spunks Up A c*nt Anymore [2020 version] lyrics

[Verse 1]
Life is so different
Since I was a kid
Kids stay indoors
They don't do what we did

Like football... Conkers...
Grazin' your knees...
Now it's all FIFA '20
And Virtua-Conkers 3

The world is so different
In so many ways
Like – Opal Fruits
Are called Starburst these days

You can't halt progress
I wouldn't want to stop change
But, there's one aspect of modern life
That I find so strange

[Chorus]
Nobody spunks up a c*nt anymore
Nobody spunks up a c*nt anymore
It's like the world has forgotten what a fanny is for
'Cos nobody spunks up a c*nt anymore
[Verse 2]
On the internet, c*cks are spaffin' everywhere
On ladies' faces – and all in their hair
On their knockers, their bumholes, and all up their backs
Anywhere but a beaver, blokes are blowin' their stacks!

[Chorus]
'Cos nobody spunks up a c*nt anymore
Nobody spunks up a c*nt anymore
They'd all rather duff their load round the back door
'Cos nobody spunks up a c*nt anymore

[Bridge]
Nobody spunks
Unless it's on the internet
Anymore

Nobody spunks
Unless someone else is liking it
Anymore

Nobody spunks (spunks, spunks)
Like what we used to do
Anymore

Nobody spunks (spunks, spunks)
Like what they used to do
Anymore
Nobody spunks (spunks, spunks)
Like what they used to do
In the good old days

Nobody spunks (spunks, spunks)
Like what they used to do
In the good old days

Nobody spunks (spunks, spunks)
Like what they used to do
Like your mum and dad did

Nobody spunks (spunks, spunks)
Like what they used to do
Back in '77

Nobody spunks (spunks, spunks)
Up a c*nt

Nobody spunks (spunks, spunks)
Up a c*nt

Clearly vaginas are a bit of a bore
'Cos nobody spunks up a c*nt anymore

[Verse 3]
Feels like society is on a mission
To make obsolete, this age old tradition
But I guess one blessing that can't be denied
At least teenage pregnancy's on the slide
[Chorus]
'Cos nobody spunks up a c*nt anymore
Nobody spunks up a c*nt anymore
They spray faces, and titties, and arseholes galore
But nobody spunks up a c*nt anymore

How come nobody spunks up a c*nt anymore?