Jaimie’s Petting Zoo lyrics

Guttermouth
Live From The Pharmacy
Jaimie's Petting Zoo
I've had my pet since i was nine years old i loved him and fed him but one day he attacked i knew he didn't love me back so i grabbed him like a football and punted fifty yards now i hate pets take yourself to the vet now i hate pets dolphins trapped in little nets now i hate pets you little f*cking screaming sh*t-bag i should of let your mother eat you, little f*cker so i got a little birdy and i trained it everyday he knew 1000 words but then he flew away but then i got him back the f*cker wouldn't shut his trap so i took him to the bathroom and rubbed his beak in sh*t now i hate pets spotted owls in their nests now i hate pets bagged a deer and made a vest now i hate pets birds and bees and bears and bison pigs and parrots and pandas i f*cking hate them all!!! i was walking through the park when a snake peered from his hole a perfect opportunity to take the bast*rd home i chopped his f*cking head off with my handy garden hoe and made a lovely hat-band for my redneck cousin bo, heee-haaw! now i hate pets 10,000 volts to the chest now i hate pets fed my cat some cigarettes now i hate pets you little f*cking screaming sh*t-bag bast*rd f*ck you, you f*cking pig-sh*t licker, f*ck!!!!!!