A Nice Place to Visit lyrics

I take a look around
Think of places I have been
There really aren't too many
I would like to see again
I've been to 30
8 of 50 states
Most of them I'd shut down
3 or 4 of them are great
Back on the east coast
Dc's a little sh*t hole
You'll freeze to death in JERSEY
But florida's the best
I think I would rather have
Prostate cancer
Than visit oklahoma
It's those Sooner's I detest
When I see the coast
I'm at home at last
Take the Lincoln Monument
And cram it up your ass
Jesus-Motherf*cking-Christ, a giant ball of yarn!
Don't forget to see that thing
When you're on your way to Yuma
KOA is A-OK
But they ain't got no Shoney's
I love turquoise
And shells of abalone
Testicular tumors
Sound so much nicer
Than seeing Dollywood
In the hills of tennessee
Sentence me to life
In a tijuana prison
I don't really care
Feed Dorito's to the bears
Fireworks here and there
California is for me
M-i-s-s-i-s-s-i-(FART!)-i!
Zillions of mosquitos are
Gnawing on my thigh
I really love antiquing
I bought some decoy ducks
In some states your sister
Is the only one you f*ck
The nascar whores of north carolina
With ovarian cysts
The size of missouri
Do yourself and stay in California
Bye...bye...bye....goodbye!