I’m Straight (I’m Lyin’) lyrics

[Intro]
J-J-J-J-Jake Hole
I love you, Mr. Hole

[Verse 1]
I grew up thinking I was straight like a throw to the bullseye
Now I stink of taint as I go to try to pull guys
Don't do both sides, not a sex centrist
For gay sex, I'm eccentric, but women lose my interest
Don't get me pregnant, reckon I'll get my tubes tied
I'm on my knees like I'm tryna get my shoes tied
You're too fine, you're Dude Uni alumni
Soon you'll try this butt, and nut, like maybe two times
Maybe three, he be in the booty, he be tryna eat
Come and see, film it like a movie, need these booty cheeks
Moving deep, pull out like a futon, do it on his teeth
To think we just met, that's a "Greet-'n'-meat"
Excited when I see these guys
I'll ride it 'til I see sunrise
Flip it over, try to see both sides
I'm moaning 'cause he broke my spine
In my eyes, I can't see a thang, dang, I feel pain
He get rough when he slang dang-a-lang

[Chorus]
I'm straight, I'm lyin'
Bro, get those panties off
Don't take no time with me
All meat's my diet
I tried, but he went soft
My butt don't fit in my jeans
[Verse 2]
I knew a guy with the big height, he could touch the ceiling
He whipped the meat out and said, "Pretty please, feel it"
I felt straight at the time, but had deep feelings
He was uncirc*mcised, had to keep peeling
Seat filling with man sweat and Axe body spray
Caught a body today, but anybody'd say
"If it's two dudes kissing, it's not worth witnessing"
At least until they see that sloppy tape where I was giving brain
These days, it ain't easy
These days, my butt greasy
Lubed up in designer tube socks for the daily dude meeting
Approach us and our meat will shoot up like a rocket or junkie
Like a coach does on the NFL tour bus, he be spanking our monkeys
Gettin' the munchies for the wiener
Booty mean, but I get meaner
Two dudes in a limousine, when you're in it with me, it's called a "Beater"
'Cause I beat meat like it owes me money
Hit it from the back 'til the butt gets runny
Hit from the back 'til the sky gets sunny
With an old man and he calls me "Sonny"

[Chorus]
I'm straight, I'm lyin'
Bro, get those panties off
Don't take no time with me
All meat's my diet
I tried, but he went soft
My butt don't fit in my jeans
[Outro]
And that's how it goes
Sometimes, your mouth keeps going
Your cheeks don't close
And the pee-pee flows