Tender Love Ballad lyrics

I met a young lass and I wrote her a song
The words were sentimental and it didn't take too long
'Twas rhyme and 'twas verse and a song note or two
I quickly composed for this young lass to woo

Chorus:
Oh, please have intercourse with me!
Oh, please have intercourse with me-e-e!
Mine's a love that never wavers
When you do me sexual favors!
Oh please, please, please, please, please, please!

I tuned up me lute and was off to find me lass
This rare opportunity, I couldn't let it pass
Right 'neath her window sill, I prepared me song to sing
And with a hopeful heart I let the first course ring

Chorus

I played the last chord and my heart to flutter started
I looked up to see me true love as the window curtains parted
But the vision that I saw was both frightening and bad
Silhouetted in her window was the shadow of her dad! (Scream!)

Chorus
Well, I looked at him and I knew that I was dead
And with a measured rage, these are the words to me he said
"Whatever you intended for my daughter true
I swear by her maidenhead I will do to you!"

Chorus

Well, it goes without saying I took off with great surprise
For the last thing that I wanted was my bottom sodomized
How could such good intentions be turned upon their ear?
This lovely lassie's father coveting my rear! (That as*h*le!)

Chorus

Oh, please have intercourse with me! (I really mean it!)
Oh, please have intercourse with me-e-e! (Look at me, I'm desperate.)
Mine's a love that never wavers
When you do me sexual favors!
Oh please, please, please, please, please, please!