My Unfortunate Erection (Chip’s Lament) lyrics
by William Finn
[CHIP, spoken]
Fritos! M&M’s? Oreos! All for one dollar!
(sung)
It is tradition
That the person eliminated
From the competition
Is fair-game for derision
Especially the alpha-male
Who'll sell goodies at the bake sale
Anyone for brownies?
Anyone for choc'late chips?
Anyone for anything that isn’t dated?
How could I
Have been
Elim-
Inated?
You wanna know how?
You wanna know how?
You wanna know why?
My unfortunate erection
Is destroying my perfection
It is my recollection
That everything I once did
I did perfectly