How America Got Its Name lyrics

[SWEETHEART, spoken]
While Queen Isabella found out that Columbus was screwing around she was furious. She threw things at him and told him to get out of her country

[GOLDBERG, spoken]
Isabella was a gutsy woman. People used to lick the streets after she walked by in order to show respect for this great lady. Queen Isabella personally though thought their licking was disgusting - and so do I. But this was Spain, circa 1490, and licking the streets was considered perfectly normal behavior. For the lower classes

[SWEETHEART, spoken]
As for Columbus...

[GOLDBERG, spoken]
Columbus didn't used to be a sailor

[SWEETHEART, spoken]
From the day he was born, Columbus was slated to be a sailor. Which he became

[GOLDBERG, spoken]
He was first and foremost a kept man

[SWEETHEART, spoken]
He was a kept sailor

[GOLDBERG, spoken]
He did little all day but jot down ridiculous poems and wait for Isabella to call his name

[SWEETHEART, spoken]
But Queen Isabella, much to her royal displeasure, found out Columbus was cheating on her