Dead Dog lyrics

choking on God's tongue when he leans in for a kiss when I’m on my knees
love is an addiction
and I'm an alcoholic
I'm a reality-smudging satanist
I only believe in God when shaking my fist

day & night i look for where it all went wrong
its so sad thinking of who i tried to be
i tried to bring back your favourite memory
but i lost it within January’s breeze
January death held me in her mouth, suffocating on her breath
i got the man i adored back, but only in a dream
I woke up hair messy with it spilt all over me

sitting in the waiting room of hysteria
my husband at the time wanted a lobotomy
I wanted for my exorcism patiently

I was nevеr God's b*tch
I was just his dead dog
there arе sorrows in the river thames
throw yourselves in, go for a swim
and once throne in, you're never the same
Hades and his ghouls swipe for ankles
while arguing with bitter evangelicals
can you swim? Can you swim in the thick of it?
maggots ate my potential
they made a passion fruit their home
if i don't let it go ill be stuck here all alone
I was never God's b*tch
I pray that all the blind loyalty was worth it

for the sake of the draw
ill lose and you'll win
for the sake of what it all could of been
dead dogs in a ditch
cats eating them quick
still, you'll call me sick

there are maggots galore
they're coating the church floor
God abandoned us once before
whats stopping him from doing it a fourth?