I Always, Always, Never Get My Man lyrics

[COUNTESS]
Once I wooed a Swede named Bjorn
Had his maid bring tea each morn
Turns out horny Bjorn, he loved serving porn
And poof went my plan
I am beautiful and clever
And I always, always never get my man

There was Tex who traded stocks
Hired a girl to don his socks
And when Texy's socks led to sexy talks
I was out on my can
Give my all to each endeavor
And I always, always never get my man

Fell in love with Cole’s 1930 Rolls
Dreaming I would be his bride
But when his chauffeur turned out to be a her
They both took me for a ride

Seems l'll never end this curse
'Cause now my doctor has his nurse
And what’s worse, the nurse wants me to disperse
Like dust from a fan
So I hope you had your fun
But the fact is, girl 'ya done
'Cause this time, hon
Oh, this time hon
Yeah, this time hon
I am gonna, gonna get my man!