I’m a Pilot lyrics

Well, I walk up to you
And I shake your hand
Ask you how your day was
You were up all night?
That sucks, I understand

And now hurry the f*ck up
'Cause I don't wanna wait
I'm in a hurry, and it's your fault
I'm steppin' twenty minutes late

'Cause I'm a pilot
I only care about me
I don't give a f*ck if I bring your jet back
Code 2 or Code 3

'Cause I'm a pilot
And I never make mistakes
I take the credit if it ain't broken
I'll blame you if it breaks

Well I don't even know
Where the oil filter lies
But I'll tell you "Fix it faster, god dammit"
'Cause I'm the one who flies!
And I'll leave FOD in the c*ckpit
Without even a trace
And I'll over-g the targeting pod
With a smile on my face

'Cause I'm a pilot
I only care about me
I don't give a f*ck if I bring your jet back
Code 2 or Code 3

'Cause I'm a pilot
And I never make mistakes
I take the credit if it ain't broken
I'll blame you if it breaks

Well I'll put out some chaff
Maybe a flare? Ah, f*ck it!
'Cause when I get back, I wanna see you have to replace
The whole damn bucket

And the ECM pod
That one's my favorite joke
Forget to turn it on? f*ck no! It just p*sses me off
When somethin' ain't broke

'Cause I'm a pilot
And I'm a mean old son of a b*tch
Yeah I know it sucks and it's all cold and rainy and here I am inside my c*ckpit all warm and toasty
Hey Crew Chief, while you're at it, why don't you get my tapes for me?
What, you think I want to hold this helmet bag all damn day?

Well I'll p*ss on your seat
And blame it on a leak
Ah wait, gotta think of something else
That's the same excuse that I used last week

Hooah!

When I'm taxiing in
Do whatever it is you do
You can do a dance, pull down your pants
I don't care, I'm not even lookin' at you!

And I'm sorry I scratched your jet up
Well maybe she had an itch
'Cause your baby may have your name on her
But I just made her my b*tch

'Cause I'm a pilot
I only care about me
I don't give a f*ck if I bring your jet back
Code 2 or Code 3
'Cause I'm a pilot
And I never make mistakes
I take the credit if it ain't broken
I'll blame you if it breaks