The First Time I Saw Your Dad Nude lyrics

I’m just chillin’ half-mast under your bed
I’ve been sitting in darkness
Since half past ten
I finally hear the door open
It’s your dad!
He heard me rip ass…
And now I’m dead

Oh! He threw the mattress across the room
Your mama was crying
And your dad was nude (tight!)
At this point, my boner was dead (so dead!)
I didn’t even get to say “I love you” again

That was the first time…(whoa-oh!)
Oh, it was the worst time…(whoa-oh!)
Oh, That was the first time
I saw your dad nude

I saw his balls and butthole too
I asked if he needed any glue
He got so mad, I didn’t know what to do
So I emptied the gluе
Onto your mother’s boobs (tight!)

That was the first time…(whoa-oh!)
Oh, it was thе worst time…(whoa-oh!)
Oh, That was the first time
I saw your dad nude
I thought he was gonna have a stroke
When he glued his balls to the back of my throat
He screamed “Glue is for crafts! Not balls and ass!”
Girl, that’s when you finally walked in and screamed…
“Dad! What the f*ck, what the f*ck
Oh my God! Holy sh*t! Jesus Christ! Ew!”
It’s not what it looks like!

Your father tried to break my neck with no remorse
Your mama was screaming that she wants a divorce
When his balls unglued from the back of my throat
Thats when I got down on one knee to propose…

But hold on, girl!
Before you answer…
I must ask your dad
If I can take his daughter’s hand
I guess I’m just old fashioned like that
He said no, no, no…

That was the first time…(whoa-oh!)
Oh, it was the worst time…(whoa-oh!)
Oh, That was the first time
I saw your dad nude