WHY lyrics

WAIT! WAIT A MINUTE!
WHY WAS GEORGE WASHINGTON CALLED GEORGE WASHINGTON!
I MEAN.. HE WASN'T WASHING A TON!
HE WAS A SOLDIER!
HE WAS OFF FIGHTING WARS!
He was getting malaria and sh*t!
He was not washing a ton.
Why did his parents have to give him that f*cking name!?
It's confused historians for YEARS! And it's confused me even longer!
Centuries.

But I have a theory. What if George Washington was washing machine in his past life?
Now you might be saying, "But LIl Chromozome, it's physically impossible for humans to be washing machines. What makes you say this?"
And to this question I would say, "PICK UP YOUR f*ckING HISTORY BOOK AND DO SOME RESEARCH!"
Now that might not have answered your question, but I said what I said.
George Washington was a washing machine in his past life.
But seriously, do you really think I care that modern washing machines werе made in 1851 by James King?
James King was a rеincarnated version of George Washington.
Yes! I said that! BECAUSE IT'S TRUE! IT IS! LOOK IT UP!

This is the only reason! It's the only explanation for this!
His parents had to be washing machines BEFORE!
TO GET THAT NAME THEY HAD TO! IT JUST MAKES SENSE!
And then you know what he did in the 1930's?
He ran the best laundromat the world had ever seen.
And then he kept reincarnating INTO THE MODERN WASHING MACHINES!
THAT'S THE HISTORY OF GEORGE WASHINGTON KIDS! SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE WHERE I FINGERBANG JOHN ADAMS!

Oh that was straight fire on the tra...

Oh say can you see, by the dawn's EARLY LIGHT!