Christmas Cum lyrics

[Intro: Lil Chromozome]
Mr. Smith: OH MY f*ckING GOD! I CANNOT BELIEVE IT'S CHRISTMAS YET AGAIN! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS! MORE CHRISTMAS SONGS! Let's get straight to it Johnny!
Johnny: Alright Mr. Smith. But don't yell at me this time, ok? I understand the material this time
Mr. Smith: Oh I know. I'm gonna kiss you hard
Johnny: Wait what?

[Chorus: Lil Chromozome]
Jingle bells
My butthole smells
Might have an std (Oh no)
My doctor said that I was dead
But I murdered third degree *Moan*
Jingle bells
Turtle shells
Mr. Smith is gay (Really?)
I grabbed his throat
Then he screamed like a goat
Then I kicked him out my way (Get the f*ck outta here)

[Verse 1: Lil Chromozome]
I just grabbed his butt
But he doesn't seem to care (I like it)
Blow up an orphanage
No more childcare (Where'd it go?)
When I go to sleep
I wanna wake up to some snow
If it is not there tonight
Then I'm gonna f*cking blow (Oh!)
[Chorus: Lil Chromozome]
Jingle bells
Batman smells
Robin has a vagina (Why?)
I f*cked his holes with danimals
Batman is crying in the corner
Jingle bells
What rhymes with bells
Sucking off the maid (Excuse me?)
There's a woman with a fat c*ck and she's standing over me (NO!)

[Verse 2: Lil Chromozome]
My grandma gave me money
But she didn't give me presents (Are you kidding me?)
I started to kill her
But she told me she didn't regret it (She dead)
I killed her with my eyes
I got that light skin stare on deck (I'm gorgeous)
I took that money that my grandma got me
And i just spent it all (My money)

[Chorus: Forgotthealamo]
Got my di*k, stuck in a Coke bottle
Now there’s paramedics at my door
But I’m too scared to let ‘em inside
Cuz they asked what’s wrong and I flat out lied
I called 911 and I said I was dying
And also my baby was crushed by the TV and it caught on fire
And my diabetic grandma’s in a coma and -
Oh god here comes the fire chief
[Interlude: Forgotthealamo]
Fire Chief: Motherf*cker why are you always doing this on Christmas? Answer me!
Bottlef*cker: Okay listen dude I can explain - hold on - shut the f*ck - shut - SHUT THE f*ck UP

[Verse 3: Forgotthealamo]
So basically it’s Christmas
I’m prancing through the halls
I step into some water
And then I slip and fall (yeah right)
And what’s that on the ground
But a bottle of Coke upright (uh huh?)
I fall onto my back
And then my p*nis slips inside…

[Interlude: Forgotthealamo]
Fire Chief: That’s the f*cking thing, every time you do this, EVERY TIME you do this, there’s a new level of bullsh*t to it!
Bottlef*cker: HEY!
Fire Chief: No, no! If you fell onto your back it would have gone up your ass that’s not how it works! YOU ARE RISKING ACTUAL LIVES BECAUSE YOU CAN’T KEEP YOUR di*k IN YOUR PANTS. YOU LIVE BY YOURSELF! GO TO THE HOSPITAL LIKE A NORMAL PERSON WHAT THE f*ck?!?!?!
Bottlef*cker: I was nervous okay?! I was so nervous! I didn’t think you guys would pick me up if I - if I didn’t have a good reason!
And I really wanted to take the ambulance because I like the flashing lights…
Fire Chief: And like, why a Coke bottle of all things?
Bottlef*cker: Um… okay it was the polar bear, it was the polar bear (on the wrapper! What do you want from me?)

[Outro: Lil Chromozome]
Mr. Smith: HOLY f*ckING sh*t THAT WAS STRAIGHT FIRE ON THE f*ckING TRACK!
Johnny: Wait, Mr. Smith
Mr. Smith: It's not Mr. Smith. It's Santa hoe
Johnny: Alright, Santa. Shouldn't it be, "That was straight icy on the track", not fire?
Mr. Smith/Santa: Why the f*ck would it be that? Did you hit your head or something?
Johnny: Well like 30 minutes ago you hit me pretty hard on the head with your fat c*ck
Mr. Smith/Santa: HO HO HO HO! You're right. I'M GONNA DO IT AGAIN!
Johnny: *Painful groan*
Mr. Smith/Santa: Ho. Ho. HO!