Birthday b*tch/My di*k is Flaccid and Hard lyrics

[Intro]
Lil Chromozome: I'm finally eighteen now. Took long enough. But you know what that means. I CAN NOW DO ANYTHING I WANT! And the government cannot arrest me for it. It's called freedom of speech. But now I must sing a song on this jolly day. Grandma, stay right there and listen to this

[Verse 1]
Going on a date to outback steakhouse
My girlfriend challenges me to a booty shakedown (WHAT!?)
If she ain't paying I'm throwing her out
I take control of the entire restaurant (You can have it!)
I BEAT MY SPOUSE
SHE'S GOING TO A SCHOOL WEARING A BLOUSE
I'LL BLOW UP THE HOUSE
GIVING CRACKERS TO A MOUSE

[Verse 2]
SUCK HIS c*ck TILL HE SNEEZE
PULL HIS CHEEKS OUT HE FEELS THE BREEZE
LICK MY LIPS IM GONNA TEASE
IM NOT BRITISH ILL DUMP THE TEA
GET A PROSTATE EXAM CAUSE IM 40
SHOOT THE KIDS AT SCHOOL LIKE RICK AND MORTY
TAKE A BREAK BECAUSE IM FEELING SNORTY
JEFFERY DAHMER ON THE BLOCK IM GETTING HORNY (AHHH)

[Interlude]
Da-duh-da-doo
Da-duh-da-doo
Da-duh-da-doo
WITH A SIDE OF FRIED BISCUITS!
[Verse 3]
PULLED PORK OUT OF HIS as*h*le
SMELLS LIKE sh*t ILL EAT IT WHOLE
BEND OVER GIRL ILL EAT YOUR HOLE
IS THAT A SKID MARK? WTF
CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM IN THE TOILET
WEINY HUT JUNIOR IM GETTING LIT
SING TO ME CAUSE IM THE BIRTHDAY b*tch
SPANK MY ASS CAUSE I HAD TO ITCH

[Verse 4]
He tried to leave the building but I blocked his way
He tried to claim that he wasn't really gay
I PULLED HIM TO MY ROOM BECAUSE I WAS NOW 18
I GOT READY TO f*ck HIM AND THE THOUGHT MADE MY BOOTY STEAM

[Interlude]
Oh woah woah woah
Oh woah woah woah
Oh woah woah woah
OH WOAH WOAH WOAH

[Outro]
Lil Chromozome: OH THAT WAS STRAIGHT FIRE ON THE f*ckING TRACK!
And now that I'm eighteen, i can finally f*ck as many people as I want. GRANDMA, COME HERE!
Grandma: I finally don't have to wait any longer. Ram me
Lil Chromozome: Oh I'll do more than ram you. I will destroy your organs. NOW PREPARE for your life to be ended
*Violent anal noises*