Cards Against Humanity: Second Expansion lyrics

Black cards

• After months of debate, the Occupy Wall Street General Assembly could only agree on "More ________!"
• Before I run for president, I must destroy all evidence of my involvement with ________.
• Before ________, all we had was ________.
• Charades was ruined for me forever when my mom had to act out ________.
• During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into ________.
• Everyone down on the ground! We don't want to hurt anyone. We're just here for ________.
• I spent my whole life working toward ________, only to have it ruined by ________.
• I went from ________ to ________, all thanks to ________.
• If God didn't want us to enjoy ________, he wouldn't have given us ________.
• In his newest and most difficult stunt, David Blaine must escape from ________.
• Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and ________.
• Members of New York's social elite are paying thousands of dollars just to experience ________.
• My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of ________.
• My mom freaked out when she looked at my browser history and found ________.com/________.
• My new favorite porn star is Joey "________" McGee.
• Next time on Dr. Phil: How to talk to your child about ________.
• Only two things in life are certain: death and ________.
• The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, ________, and acceptance.
• The healing process began when I joined a support group for victims of ________.
• The votes are in, and the new high school mascot is ________.
• This is your captain speaking. Fasten your seatbelts and prepare for ________.
• This month's Cosmo: "Spice up your sex life by bringing ________ into the bedroom."
• Tonight on 20/20: What you don't know about ________ could kill you.
• You haven't truly lived until you've experienced ________ and ________ at the same time.
• ________ would be woefully incomplete without ________.

White cards

• A 55-gallon drum of lube.
• A Burmese tiger pit.
• A bigger, blacker di*k.
• A dollop of sour cream.
• A magic hippie love cloud.
• A man in yoga pants with a ponytail and feather earrings.
• A pinata full of scorpions.
• A sad fat dragon with no friends.
• A slightly sh*ttier parallel universe.
• A soulful rendition of "Ol' Man River."
• A squadron of moles wearing aviator goggles.
• A sweaty, panting leather daddy.
• A sweet spaceship.
• All of this blood.
• An army of skeletons.
• An ether-soaked rag.
• An unhinged ferris wheel rolling toward the sea.
• Another shot of morphine.
• Basic human decency.
• Beefin' over turf.
• Being awesome at sex.
• Boris the Soviet Love Hammer.
• Bullsh*t.
• Catastrophic urethral trauma.
• Daddy's belt.
• Death by Steven Seagal
• Dining with cardboard cutouts of the cast of "Friends."
• Double penetration.
• Existing.
• Fetal alcohol syndrome.
• Finding Waldo.
• f*ck Mountain.
• Getting hilariously gang-banged by the Blue Man Group.
• Grandpa's ashes.
• Graphic violence, adult language, and some sexual content.
• Hillary Clinton's death stare.
• Intimacy problems.
• Jeff Goldblum.
• Living in a trashcan.
• Loki, the trickster god.
• Making a friend.
• Me.
• Mild autism.
• Mooing.
• My first kill.
• Nunchuck moves.
• Oncoming traffic.
• One Ring to rule them all.
• Power.
• Pretty Pretty Princess Dress-Up Board Game®.
• Pumping out a baby every nine months.
• Rising from the grave.
• Scrotal frostbite.
• Some really f*cked-up sh*t.
• Special musical guest, Cher.
• Spring break!
• Subduing a grizzly bear and making her your wife.
• Survivor's guilt.
• Swiftly achieving orgasm.
• Taking a man's eyes and balls out and putting his eyes where his balls go and then his balls in the eye holes.
• The Google.
• The corporations.
• The day the birds attacked.
• The grey nutrient broth that sustains Mitt Romney.
• The human body.
• The mere concept of Applebee's®.
• The mixing of the races.
• The new Radiohead album.
• Tiny nipples.
• Tongue.
• Upgrading homeless people to mobile hotspots.
• Weapons-grade plutonium.
• Wearing an octopus for a hat.
• Whining like a little b*tch.
• Whipping a disobedient slave.