Cards Against Humanity: 2012 Holiday Pack lyrics

Black cards

• After blacking out during New Year's Eve, I was awoken by ________.
• Every Christmas, my uncle gets drunk and tells the story about ________.
• Jesus is ________.
• On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: three French hens, two turtle doves, and ________.
• This holiday season, Tim Allen must overcome his fear of ________ to save Christmas.
• Wake up, America. Christmas is under attack by secular liberals and their ________.
• What keeps me warm during the cold, cold, winter?

White cards

• A Christmas stocking full of coleslaw.
• A Hungry-Man™ Frozen Christmas Dinner for one.
• A toxic family environment.
• A visually arresting turtleneck.
• Another sh*tty year.
• Clearing a bloody path through Walmart with a scimitar.
• Eating an entire snowman.
• Elf c*m.
• f*cking up 'Silent Night' in front of 300 parents.
• Gift-wrapping a live hamster.
• Immaculate conception.
• Krampus, the Austrian Christmas monster.
• Mall Santa.
• My hot cousin.
• Pretending to be happy.
• Santa's heavy sack.
• Several intertwining love stories featuring Hugh Grant.
• Socks.
• Space Jam on VHS.
• Taking down Santa with a surface-to-air missile.
• The Star Wars Holiday Special.
• The tiny, calloused hands of the Chinese children that made this card.
• Whatever Kwanzaa is supposed to be about.