Cards Against Humanity: Sixth Expansion lyrics

Black cards

• I work my ass off all day for this family, and this what I come home to? ________!?
• I have a strict policy. First date, dinner. Second date, kiss. Third date, ________.
• When I was a kid we used to play Cowboys and ________.
• This is America. If you don't work hard, you don't succeed. I don't care if you're black, white, purple, or ________.
• You Won't Believe These 15 Hilarious ________ Bloopers!
• James is a lonely boy. But when he discovers a secret door in his attic, he meets a magical new friend: ________.
• Don't worry, kid. It gets better. I've been living with ________ for 20 years.
• My grandfather worked his way up from nothing. When he came to this country, all he had was the shoes on his feet and ________.
• Behind every powerful man is ________.
• You are not alone. Millions of Americans struggle with ________ every day.
• Come to Dubai, where you can relax in our world-famous spas, experience the nightlife, or simply enjoy ________ by the poolside.
• "This is madness!" "No. THIS IS ________!"
• Listen, Gary, I like you. But if you want that corner office, you're going to have to show me ________.
• I went to the desert and ate of the peyote cactus. Turns out my spirit animal is ________.
• And would you like those buffalo wings mild, hot, or ________?
• The six things I could never do without: oxygen, facebook, chocolate, netflix, friends, and ________ LOL!
• Why won't you make love to me anymore? Is it ________?
• Puberty is a time of change. You might notice hair growing in new places. You might develop an interest in ________. This is normal.
• I'm sorry, Mrs. Chen, but there was nothing we could do. At 4:15 this morning, your son succ*mbed to ________.
• I'm Miss Tennessee, and if I could make the world better by changing one thing, I would get rid of ________.
• Tonight, we will have sex. And afterwards, if you'd like, a little bit of ________.
• Everybody join hands and close your eyes. Do you sense that? That's the presence of ________ in this room.
• To become a true Yanomamo warrior, you must prove that you can withstand ________ without crying out.
• Y'all ready to get this thing started? I'm Nick Cannon, and this is America's Got ________.
• If you had to describe me, the Card Czar, using only one of the cards in your hand, which one would it be?

White cards

• A bass drop so huge it tears the starry vault asunder to reveal the face of God.
• A bowl of gourds.
• A buttload of candy.
• A constant need for validation.
• A man who is so cool that he rides on a motorcycle.
• A peyote-fueled vision quest.
• A pizza guy who f*cked up.
• A possible Muslim.
• A self-microwaving burrito.
• A turd.
• A whole lotta woman.
• An oppressed people with a vibrant culture.
• An overwhelming variety of cheeses.
• Bathing in moonsblood and dancing around the ancient oak.
• Being John Malkovich.
• Being a terrible mother.
• Being popular and good at sports.
• Breastfeeding a ten year old.
• Bullets.
• Cancer.
• Cool, relatable cancer teens.
• Crippling social anxiety.
• Crying and sh*tting and eating spaghetti.
• Cute boys.
• Eating together like a god damn family for once.
• Ejaculating inside another man's wife.
• Every ounce of charisma left in Mick Jagger's tired body.
• Filling a man's anus with concrete.
• Forgetting grandma's first name.
• Generally having no idea what's going on.
• Getting all offended.
• Getting shot out of a cannon.
• Growing up chained to a radiator in perpetual darkness.
• Gwyneth Paltrow's opinions.
• Immortality cream.
• Important news about Taylor Swift.
• Kale.
• Like a million alligators.
• Meaningless sex.
• Morpheus.
• Never having sex again.
• No longer finding any Cards Against Humanity card funny.
• One unforgettable night of passion.
• Our new Buffalo Chicken Dippers®!
• Owls, the perfect predator.
• Peeing into a girl's butt to make a baby.
• pus*y.
• Rabies.
• Reading the entire End-User License Agreement.
• Ripping a dog in half.
• Robots who just want to party.
• Setting my balls on fire and cartwheeling to Ohio.
• Shapes and colors.
• sh*tting all over the floor like a bad, bad girl.
• Such a big boy.
• Sucking all the milk out of a yak.
• Sudden p*nis loss.
• Teaching a girl how to handjob the p*nis.
• Texas.
• The all-new Nissan Pathfinder with 0.9% APR financing!
• The amount of gay I am.
• The color "puce."
• The dentist.
• The eighth graders.
• The haunting stare of an Iraqi child.
• The male gaze.
• The power of the Dark Side.
• The sweet song of sword against sword and the braying of mighty war beasts.
• Throwing stones at a man until he dies.
• Treasures beyond your wildest dreams.
• Turning the rivers red with the blood of infidels.
• Two whales f*cking the sh*t out of each other.
• Unsheathing my massive horse c*ck.
• Walking into a glass door.
• Whatever you wish, mother.