LJA [Spoken Word] lyrics

[Spoken Word]
Man, I sit down and hold tight
I feel alone, think about you every night
Devil on my back, but I try to stay right
Take him and anybody else, never scared to fight
A lost soul, the times pass, day by day
And it feels like yesterday since you passed away
I cry so many tears inside, my organs are f*ckin' flooded
Drank the lean with the pills, I pop them by the dozen
But I seen that, and I knew I did you wrong
Quit the bullsh*t and I wrote this poem
I miss you everyday, till the day that I'm gone
Till the day you bring me home, all I feel is alone
Nobody knew me like you did, callеd you my second dad
Guess you can call me Ushеr, 'cause I got it bad
And I wasn't the type to be depressed
Tried to hold what I can and keep this sh*t in my chest
Put a smile on my face for the world to see
Tears of a clown, nobody knows it but me
I'd do anything, no, to have you back for one day
Give you one last hug, tell you all the words I didn't say
And even though you're there, it just ain't enough
I need you to talk back, I need to feel your touch
And I know you always told me "Stay strong and stay tough"
But you never said it would get this f*ckin' rough
I never thought you'd be gone forever
And as the time passes, this sh*t don't get no better
Watchin' mawmaw read your love letters
Watchin' my dad miss his dad
If heaven had a taxi, sh*t, he'd catch that cab
Drinkin' till he numbs it up, your memory is all he has
And I know you don't like our pain
But tell me how would you feel if the only way you could see us was memory lane?
But just know this: I'ma try to do right by you
But for now, I love and miss you so much
And I hope I still make you proud too
LJA, love you