Awful lyrics

[Intro]
(Cole, you stupid)

[Verse 1]
Oh, I've been broke down for so long I've lost count
Of the days I lost out, I couldn't be saved
The silence is so loud, it's hard for me to show how
There's some things about me that I just can't explain
3 feet, halfway, still diggin' my grave
How the f*ck I'm supposed to change when I'm so used to being played?
My mind stuck in a maze, I think I'm turnin' crazy
Funny part about it, I tell you this sh*t everyday

[Chorus]
I admit that it's my fault, and I know that's my loss
When I breakdown and spiral, it's from the pain that I cause
Well, I guess it's all my fault, and I guess it's all my loss
But I don't need your sorrow, 'cause I know that I'm awful, yeah

[Post-Chorus]
I always wanna f*ck up love
I always wanna f*ck up love
I always wanna f*ck up love
I always wanna f*ck up love

[Verse 2]
I'm awful, I admit it (I admit it)
All thesе toxic inhibitions
It's kinda like a drug f*ckin' you up, I'm so addicted
I know I'm twisted for all thе times that I was duckin' and missin' yo' calls
I was f*ckin' on yo' bestfriend and breakin' her walls
Took y'all to lunch, y'all was sharing y'all straws like you shared this di*k, damn
Yeah, that's some secondhand embarrassment
You didn't even spare a second to realize I'm awful and really sick inside, pick a time
I know I said I love you, but just like everything I tell you, it's a lie
Really got a twisted mind, I deny it every time
But I love to see you cry, wish that I could tell you why (Ooh)
And I mean it so sincerely (Ooh)
Losing you has never feared me (Ooh)
But at least, at least (Ooh)
[Chorus]
I admit that it's my fault and I know that's my loss
When I breakdown and spiral, it's from the pain that I caused
Well, I guess it's all my fault, and I guess it's all my loss
But I don't need your sorrow 'cause I know that I'm awful, yeah

[Post-Chorus]
I always wanna f*ck up love
I always wanna f*ck up love
I always wanna f*ck up love
I always wanna f*ck up love

[Verse 3]
Me and trust don't get along, we too far gone, we parted ways
I'm a ol' dirty bast*rd, shimmy ya, shimmy yay
Gettin' ready for my casket and yo' heart is where I lay
I'm done speaking on the past tense 'cause our future is erased
Only stuck around for pleasure, I confess, you know I'm awful
Haven't learned from your lessons
Wonderin' what your mama taught you 'cause it clearly ain't enough
Do you hear me through my lust?
I know pain is like a drug, it's interfering with the spirits up above
The feelings for my love, but I told you, I know

[Chorus]
I admit that it's my fault and I know that's my loss
When I breakdown and spiral, it's from the pain that I caused
Well, I guess it's all my fault, and I guess it's all my loss
But I don't need your sorrow 'cause I know that I'm awful, yeah
[Post-Chorus]
I always wanna f*ck up love
I always wanna f*ck up love
I always wanna f*ck up love
I always wanna f*ck up love

[Outro]
(Cole, you stupid)