Entertainment Tonight - Übermensch World Tour lyrics

THE HUNTRESS coughs.

I know she doesn’t really want to kill me. What I can’t figure out is what she does want from me. Once you want nothing from the world, you’re a nihilist.

And then you just do the animal thing we all love so much when we’re not trying a little bit harder to use our minds, with humility, and discernment, you know, like Christ said? THE HUNTRESS has a God. She says it’s her “babies”—what, the conceptual child? The conceptual state of hope and pre-corruption, all channeling through visceral love? Does THE HUNTRESS have love? Maybe all she lovеs, really, is the fire—is thе fire of having something to protect, something to fight for. That’s why she keeps flippin’ back and forth.

The next journalist, thank God, isn’t observably male.

ENTERTAINMENT JOURNALIST. “Hi, thank you. This has all been so unusual; I guess, just for everyone, if I could just have you all go around and say one thing about what it’s actually been like to work with Colson Lin on his Übermensch project? Maybe, Jacques, we can start with you and then go down the row?”

JACQUES (sputtering). “Psh—sure. Working with Colson, let’s see.”

JACQUES looks at me. He’s really been hammin’ it up ever since he realized he’s in face-to-face proximity with a historical figure to rival Napoleon and Shakespeare combined.

JACQUES (smiling). “It’s like working with someone who always keeps you on your toes; I’ll give him that much. Colson comes off as, may present, occasionally, as a deeply volatile, chaotic figure; but, as many of you may know, he commands a surprising trait of, what I’d like to call ‘depth of control’—as many people who have read his writings have certainly already been able to identify, certainly, from the range and skill of his works. I…”

JACQUES’s head waffles, theatrically.

JACQUES. “I’d say—I’d say it’s hard to know where to settle around a figure like Colson, and that’s… it’s a genuinely exciting development for the humanities. I’d—I’d go as far as to confess that much.”

COLSON (politely). “Thank you, Jacques.”

JACQUES pats me on the back. I guess he saw my calmness as an invitation to get closer.

TUMBLERINA. “Well, for me, you know—I think Colson’s really created a space for people like me, who, you know, don’t necessarily think Colson needs to be ‘the Second Coming,’ or needs to have this big fancy messianic title, to be, you know—I mean, are we ‘friends’? I’m going to win victories for my beliefs and for how I see the world, including the state of gender and race relations, the victories that I see fit to earn, while working as intensely and passionately for it as I’ve—you know, built my life on, just as a citizen of a democracy. I think—Colson’s worldview, certainly the way he condones, you know, this generation of fear and certainly, not just fear around his Second Coming claim but fear around human life; who this self-proclaimed messianic figure implies is ‘bad,’ or ‘evil,’ or ‘Satanically possessed’ or whatever our latest word of the day is—I think. We have some really—you know, Oxford did call ‘brain rot’ Word of the Year—in 2024, and—you know, I, I think, all of our ancestors probably expected more from us than, well, certainly Colson Lin’s, the more problematic aspects of Colson Lin’s Second Coming claim, would disappoint the Indigenous lands we all build our homes on; particularly since Colson Lin wasn’t born Indigenous. He was born Far Eastern, which, is a world’s removed from cultural appropriation of the—there’s also the colonialism’s, colonialism’s, relationship to Christianity, which is historically—so very fraught. Certainly problematic, with, a history of the very—hypocritically, some might say, violence and slavery that Colson Lin claims to—you know, there’s, and the emotional layers of, when he implies anyone’s not trying their best or not perfect or ‘Satanically flawed,’ the use of language is certainly, not in keeping with Indigenous traditions, which favor; mouth signals that don’t convey the complexity of Colson’s appropriation of a colonialist’s tongue, or vernacular, or speech. Certainly, the Global South too. And so. ‘Don’t fight the brain rot with more brain rot,’ that’s my motto.”
It’s painfully quiet.

ACE. “Yo, Colson Lin’s the man. I’ve no problem with him, either as a conversationalist or as the Second Coming of Jesus.”

Some light, salvaging laughter.

ACE. “Fresh wardrobe, too.”

COLSON. “Aw, you’re the looker Ace.”

ACE. “If I were gay—a million, trillion times, yes.”

More uncomfortable laughter.

THE HUNTRESS. “I have always been taught that God teaches us humility. I know, what I find the most hopeful about Colson Lin’s ‘Second Coming claim,’ and what I’d be very curious to see if he can actually live up to, is if he does carry the power of God. Whatever that means to me—I need to see it. I don’t think, you know, you can write as many words as you want. That’s not what God has ever meant to me—word isn’t necessarily God, and that’s okay. What I think God is—is God. And, if that’s Colson Lin? Then amen.”

Nobody really knows how to react to this.

THE HUNTRESS (leaning into the microphone). “But if you’re wrong about being the Second Coming? Watch out.”

Light, awkward laughter.

THE HUNTRESS. “If this is how the UN is planning to push socialism on us? Not on my watch. I can love my neighbors from a distance.”

Silence.
THE HUNTRESS. “You’re all lucky I’m not throwing hatchets at you. You’re the rule of law and my belief in God away from all being murdered by me.”

More silence.

ENTERTAINMENT JOURNALIST. “Hi, thank you. Colson, have you ever considered that these might be precisely the wounds that should’ve stayed unopened? Thank you.”

The journalist sits down.

COLSON. “Uh. I don’t really know what the f*ck is going on. I would—I would not be surprised if we all disappointed our ancestors, actually.”

Murmurs from the crowd.