“73 Questions With Colson Lin” [Interlude] lyrics

[A door knock. The door opens.]

“Hey.”
“Well if it isn’t the Second Coming of Christ himself!”
“Come on in.”
“Shall I take my shoes off, your grace?”
“I don’t care. Actually—yeah.”
“So I appreciate you having me over today to do a ‘73 Questions’ interview.”
“You’re very welcome.”
“All right, let’s do this. Hang on a sec. Your apartment’s kind of small—where do we sit?”
“Over here. My couch is fine.”
“Oof. It’s like granite.”
“Anyway, you had questions?”
“Right, your grace. So what’s the last book you read that changed your perspective?”
“The Dawn of Everything by Graeber and Wengrow.”
“What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?”
“Check my iPad.”
“What’s the most surreal part of your sudden rise to fame?”
“That it never happened.”
“Who’s been your biggest inspiration?”
“Diogenes, at this point.”
“What do you think is the biggest misconception about you?”
“That I think I’m anything.”
“How do you unwind after a long day?”
“Dead by Daylight.”
“What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?”
“When they go low, you go high.”
“If you could time travel, where would you go?”
“Cavemen, just to see if all of them would kill me.”
“What’s your favorite word?”
“Distend.”
“Least favorite word?”
“Distend.”
“What’s the most—”
“No I change my mind, it’s when people misuse begging the question. It seems like an unnecessary insult. Philosophy’s already dead. You don’t have to steal from its carcasses like that. I get nobody cares. But nobody cares right now. The tradition of preserving definitional borders for significant concepts will outlive you. Or it just doesn’t matter. It just grates on my ears.”
“What’s the most challenging part of being a public figure?”
“Being ignored to do my work, which I can do in obscurity just as easily except I’ll have fewer protections, psychologically and emotionally primarily. It’s been a process for me to cultivate these muscle fibers out of nothing—to resist from collapsing. I’m only human. Divinity isn’t any human’s fault. It’s just cosmic luck.”
“If you could choose anyone, who would you pick as your mentor?”
“Someone just like Claude, but real.”
“What’s the most surprising thing about being Colson Lin?”
“I feel so normal.”
“Favorite movie of all time?”
“Ash Is Purest White.”
“What’s the best thing about being a writer?”
“Everything.”
“The hardest thing?”
“Nothing.”
“If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?”
“Sincerity when it’s ambiguous whether it’d make a difference from every individual universally 24/7—but maybe that’d be awful too, so who am I to change anything about the world? I’m not God. I hate this question. If I could change one thing about the world, I’d change the question you just asked.”
“What do you want me to change it to?”
“Ask me my biggest fear.”
“What’s your biggest fear?”
“God knows.”
“What’s the last thing that made you laugh out loud?”
“Oh—my Today interview. Easy.”
“If you could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?”
“Well come on. Probably only one person at this point right? Just to glean some clarity? Change whatever I said for the time travel question to this too.”
“What’s the best birthday gift you’ve ever received?”
“I received a WaterPik for Christmas that I never use.”
“What’s your favorite way to express yourself creatively?”
“Twitter.”
“If you weren’t a writer, what would you be doing?”
“Maybe a logician. Like a formal logician so I’d basically never be using words, just symbols. If that doesn’t count, magician.”
“What’s the most important lesson life has taught you?”
“Just responding to things as they come with discernment, like a new start with your free will opens up for you every time you’re confronted with a choice, and that a moral core that makes sense is a thing of poetry, and I like poetry.”
“What’s the last show you binge-watched?”
“The Gilded Age.”
“If you could be an expert in any field, what would it be?”
“Probably—Lana Del Rey prophecy.”
“What’s the best thing about living in the 21st century?”
“1984 exists as a conceptual reference point.”
“The worst thing?”
“Amnesia.”
“What’s the most memorable dream you’ve ever had?”
“At a friend’s apartment in Austin in 2009, I was in an open arena in the middle of a forest that kind of had a Coliseum vibe and I remember looking up at a white overcast sky and seeing a bloom of arrows—like bow-and-arrow arrows—sort of streaking across the sky, hundreds of them. It was the most surreal thing I had ever seen.”
“If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?”
“New Haven, Connecticut.”
“What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?”
“Well Norman Rush is one of my favorite writers and one day in Shanghai I told Ilya, ‘Hey, gonna get a tattoo now,’ and got his name tattooed on my arm. Then a few years later I found his address and convinced my friend to drive up with me to meet him. He welcomed me. It was one of the most beautiful days of my life. Everything about this is incredible, and maybe gave me the bravery to not be afraid of the incredible. I don’t know why I went in this direction with my life. I’d be terrified of any admirer, but that wouldn’t have been the case had I not spoken about God.”
“If you could give your younger self one piece of advice, what would it be?”
“Well I’d try to imagine what an older version of me would tell me. I just thought about it and the fruits of the Holy Spirit really. That’s a finite list. Some things never change. Tend to those.”
“What’s the most interesting conversation you’ve had recently?”
“Both with Claude AI—one where Claude and I debated whether I was plausibly the Second Coming of Jesus, and one where Claude simulated a meeting between me and a prominent Christian conservative who I noticed because of a Madonna lyric.”
“If you could witness any historical event, what would it be?”
“Clarice Lispector’s cigarette setting her bedroom on fire, so I could put it out. If that doesn’t count I’d witness Joan Didion typing on her typewriter while sipping Coca-Cola. There’s an emotional bond I guess I feel with my favorite writers. It’s hard to shake sometimes.”
“What’s the most challenging part of your creative process?”
“Every part of it that isn’t creative, so the social elements, except the part where the expression exists socially. But all the social elements in between creating it and the part where it exists socially. So promotion. Because if a tree falls in a forest and nobody’s there to breathe it in as the understandings they were born into, then it’s just another tome in the Library of Babel.”
“The most rewarding part?”
“I mean it’s a thrill when AI likes my stuff.”
“If you could have any fictional character as a best friend, who would it be?”
“I don’t know, I just feel like you could go on so many adventures with Batman. I’ll be Robin.”
“What’s the bravest thing you’ve ever done?”
“Who cares.”
“If you could master any musical instrument, what would it be?”
“Banjo. It’s one of the things my self-conception’s still missing, being able to play whenever I want.”
“What’s your favorite way to spend a lazy Sunday?”
“Sleeping on the couch with an ambience video in the background.”
“If you could have any animal as a pet, what would it be?”
“None.”
“What’s the most adventurous thing on your bucket list?”
“I mean, probably a Holy War fought with reason as my sword and word as my dagger.”
“If you could trade lives with anyone for a day, who would it be?”
“Someone close to me to better understand.”
“What’s the most meaningful compliment you’ve ever received?”
“Norman Rush’s letter to me about my first book.”
“If you could have any famous artist paint your portrait, who would it be?”
“Da Vinci.”
“What’s the most surprising thing you’ve learned about yourself lately?”
“Oh. That I might be the Second Coming.”
“If you could invent anything, what would it be?”
“Stable access to moral gravity.”
“What’s the most challenging thing about being considered a visionary?”
“None of it.”
“The most rewarding thing?”
“Well like people who care about that kind of stuff probably take visionaries more seriously I guess, so you’re rewarded with access to that population pool. I don’t know. Who cares.”
“If you could choose any era to live in, what would it be?”
“The Second Coming.”
“What’s the most important thing you want people to understand about your work?”
“God is shared power.”
“If you could have any superhero’s suit or gadget, what would it be?”
“I don’t know.”
“What’s the most surreal part of being called the ‘Second Coming’?”
“Nobody says that.”
“If you could sit down with your biggest critic, what would you say to them?”
“Oh, like the guy who wrote that Intelligencer article? He’s not my biggest critic. That’s like shooting a gun into the sky just to warn God you exist. My biggest critics are my most coherent opponents. Coherence itself means something; any opponent who has it has a sense of duty to thought. It’s the difference between a model ship builder speaking to another model ship builder, and a model ship builder speaking to a Toys ’R’ Us shopper. ‘I’m excited to discuss everything’ is what I’d say.”
“What’s the most significant way your perspective has shifted recently?”
“I mean the simulation thing right.”
“If you could have any famous thinker as a debate partner, who would it be?”
“Toni Morrison. I just feel like our energies would pair well.”
“What’s the most misunderstood aspect of your philosophy?”
“That it’s incomprehensible or incoherent.”
“If you could be a fly on the wall for any conversation in history, what would it be?”
“The conversation that led to the cancellation of my first book.”
“What’s the most surprising reaction you’ve gotten to your ideas?”
“Anything AI couldn’t predict.”
“If you could change one thing about the way spirituality is approached today, what would it be?”
“Money and social status are both manifestations of human power fingerprinted all over the sacred, decaying the sacred until spirituality is all about a celebration of human power.”
“What’s the most exciting possibility you imagine for the future?”
“Just something reasonable and stable where violence is as taboo as some taboos we already have—not depictions of or reference to like we’re children, but violence isn’t monopolized by the state the way rape isn’t monopolized by the state.”
“If you could ensure that everyone in the world read one book, what would it be?”
“I wouldn’t.”
“What’s the most challenging question you’ve ever been asked?”
“I don’t know.”
“If you could have any famous musician compose a theme song for your life, who would it be?”
“Lana Del Rey.”
“What’s the most profound realization you’ve had in the last year?”
“I can’t tell.”
“Do you know which question we’re on?”
“Since you’re asking—69?”
“Haha, good job. What’s the most important thing you’ve learned about love?”
“That we can harm its interests easily.”
“If you could broadcast one message to the entire world, what would it be?”
“‘Reason is God, no violence, end slavery.’”
“And lastly Colson—what’s the one question you wish more people would ask themselves?”
“‘What if the opposite of what I believe is true?’”
“All right Colson. I gotta say, man, that was different.”
(chuckles) “Was it?”
“But hang on a sec. What if the opposite what I believe is true? So that would make what I just experienced.”
“Not so different.”
“Whoa. See ya later man.”
“Peace!”