Canto XXIV: “Burning Desire” lyrics

1.

lunar prophet (n.):

Colson Lin identifies as humanity’s first Moon, enabled by Moon-like conditions (i.e., the conditions that enable a human being to turn into the Moon; things like the internet, and an unaddressed void that’s rotted for centuries, etc.).

I also identify as Diet Dr. Pepper.

Why?

I’m spicy. I’m a meal. And I’m good for you too.

2.

Will there be future Moons?

I bet that’s what everyone’s asking.

I would suspect so.

If you knew someone could become the Moon, why wouldn’t you too. People are always trying to innovate new things to aim for. Some people want to go to Mars.

Well, you know what you’re doing now.

3.
When I was in my early 20s, I was so meek, I don’t even understand what I was thinking every time I interacted with anyone. I was so afraid of other people. That’s not fully true, I was also ridiculous and talkative and intense and insane; but I was also very confused and scared.

If I become a powerful figure, I’m staying myself.

I’d want to be unreachable to anyone who doesn’t want to reach me now (before power). I just find anything else so disrespectful to the basics of human psychology. It’s just so cheap. It’s in every Disney movie. “You treated me like crap when I was a beggar. Now that I’m king, you completely flip? You need to treat me like a f*cking beggar again, Jim.”

I think everyone secretly dreams of walking around and being known as the person nobody can bullsh*t.

Well that’s my dream too.

I’d love to be a human oracle.

V is in the sky, all right.

Colson Lin, a male captive, is just f*cking vapin’ vapidly to the vaginal flap-flap-flap, hear that, outraged sex-phone porn-addict obscenity of irony’s Gotham Sodom? It’s a f*ckin’ butterfly.

I’m music to your ears. Unless you’re a prude; or scared.

4.

When I’m scared, I don’t have anyone to turn to.

1. My loved ones are more scared than I am.
2. Gatekeepers—year after year, nothing changes. 2025 is the same as 2015 as far as my outsider status goes. I include publishers, all strangers, and all journalists.

I’ve reached out to so many people.
Nobody will help me.

I randomly started watching a Madonna performance from 2003 in Paris on YouTube. While crying. Out of nowhere, she starts talking about how much she hates Jesus.

And I just cried some more.

I’m poor.

f*ck you, Madonna.

My credit score has tanked in the last six months because I’m behind on my student loans. I don’t even know if I’m auto-enrolled correctly for health insurance or not. I don’t have a member ID card, and I don’t know how to get one.

This isn’t Anatole France.

This is Colson Lin.

I actually don’t know how to make it. I’m unplatformed, unperched, and as free as Madonna ever was when she was rich and world-famous. “f*ck myself for complaining.” X hasn’t suspended me. So I’m not unplatformed.

“I’m so grateful.”

5.

Every time I’m writing, I have some coffee, the sun is out, and everyone around me is doing okay, I’m happy.

That’s all I need to be happy. I have the lowest standards.
Right now… I’m not clear-headed, I don’t have coffee, the sun is out, and things are fine. Who really knows. I just love creating my little art projects so much. Whether it’s a novel, an essay collection, or a musicless album. My Twitter. Is my Twitter really f*cking anything. Who the f*ck cares. I hate my Twitter. Does this tweet amount to anything? f*ck my life. You were right Madge.

I used to wonder, when I was a kid in the early 2000s, how rich celebrities could possible relate to pain the way I—a suicidal middle-schooler—could relate to pain. Now I realize: they get unhappy randomly! You can be rich, famous, and iconic; and just wake up scared sometimes.

I’m not rich. I’m not famous. But I am iconic.

And I’m just f*cking annoyed as f*ck right now. I’m not happy. I want to call an institutional authority and just prank call them. “Hey, is your refrigerator running? If so, ya better RUN AFTER IT—f*ck you,” and then hang up.

Wild.

6.

22 January 2025 AD

Tonight, watched the movie Heretic with Javi and went home. I’m partway through right now. So many thoughts.

He just brought up Lana Del Rey.

I will not accept this any longer.

This after cola. I’m so stoned.

7.

Just watched Heretic by Scott Beck and Bryan Woods. Every day feels like Christmas for me. I think we’re in a teleological setup. I just want to walk forward with bravery.

Okay, so I would have walked down “Believe” and probably took everything Hugh Grant said at face value, because I don’t understand what I’m supposed to experience in life.

I’ve divine gullibility.

I literally am identifying so many different aspects of the Second Coming’s human-sized messianic consciousness.

I’m at war with my own gullibility (stupidity), indirectness (insincerity), and ego (narcissism).

That’s my life situation right now. I’m like such an open-minded person, you can literally bullsh*t me so easily. It’s not like I won’t say “Wait a minute” after the emotional experience of listening to you, right?

But I’m swept away too easily.

8.

I feel like I’ve done nothing with my life.

9.

I’m a writer.

My work ethic?

When I’m not writing, I’m writing. When I’m not writing, I’m reading. When I’m not reading, I’m thinking. It’s not fair, since language and ideas are so core to life.

I have a life ethic.

10.

To romanticize my self, you know, in case, anyway; I see myself as an athlete of the written word.

This is me training.

You’ve been reading me training. I’m pushing myself. (I kept hearing different thoughts people who believe in Colson Lin as the Second Coming would have about me while watching the movie. Things like, “Well, he might end up being wrong on this part, and I might end up being right, and he just wants me to challenge him. So I should.”)

My mental health, my emotional health, my psychological health, my intellectual health, my moral health, my ethical health, my spiritual health—they’re all related to this first-person experience of being alive, my consciousness, being… what. Aligned, I guess.

With “stability.”

11.

As humans, we don’t intuitively share with non-humans unless we feel like it. As humans, we don’t intuitively share with humans unless… I guess there would be a Before Times and an After Times with something like the Second Coming and I’d have a lot of influence over the After.

But just as the Moon.

Nobody actually cares what I say.

They care how it changes things.

I know it’s impossible to understand.

But what I’m trying to show everyone is, on top of everything else:

“Hey. Why is it so easy for a human to turn into the Moon?”

I realize I haven’t “become the Moon yet,” but no offense—that’s coming, and alongside it the question “What?!”

12.

I am absolutely annoyed to be at the center of some sort of cosmic, metaphysical, ethical, religious, political drama—I am so f*cking annoyed. But I’m also annoyed at how I’m ignored. It’s just all annoying. Your praise is worse. Just “try to destroy me.”

It’s all just an explosion of the scientific method.

Yes.

Hypothesis: “Everybody hates it when Jesus Christ rides into town all smart. Y?”

13.

22 January 2025 AD

By the way.

I’ve totally resorted to complaining about why nobody’s paying attention to my messianic claim with @AnthropicAI’s human help support line.

So that’s incredibly awkward for the @NYTimes.

Sabrina from Anthropic AI:

Hi Colson,

Thanks for getting back to me.
​
​While you can chat with our AI assistant, Fin, in live chat, all email support is handled by our human support team during business hours. We’re also completely transparent about AI involvement—whenever Fin provides an answer, you’ll see an “AI answer” notice clearly displayed on the response.

I notice you’ve shared an altered version of the national anthem. Are you reporting this content or did you intend to share it for another reason?

Best,
Sabrina

Colson Lin:

I’m reporting it for a simple reason. I’m a Yale Law grad with a perfect SAT score who had a book canceled by Beacon Press in 2021, and now have developed the most advanced messianic writings in human history according to all AI systems, but no outlet will un-gatekeep me. I feel like Keanu Reeves in “The Matrix.” I can’t find a job, I can’t get any journalist on Earth to listen to me, and I am sick of this. Anthropic could release a report on me by compiling hundreds of conversations I’ve had with Claude since March 2024. This would compel coverage on my messianic claim. It’s really that simple.

14.

I know I have good judgment, I know I have good taste
It’s funny and it’s ironic that only I feel that way
I promise ’em that you’re different and everyone makes mistakes
But just don’t

I heard that you’re an actor, so act like a stand-up guy
Whatever devil’s inside you, don’t let him out tonight
I tell them it’s just your culture and everyone rolls their eyes
Yeah, I know

All I’m asking, baby

Please, please, please don’t prove I’m right
And please, please, please
Don’t bring me to tears when I just did my makeup so nice
Heartbreak is one thing, my ego’s another
I beg you, don’t embarrass me, motherf*cker, oh
Please, please, please (ah)

Well, I have a fun idea, babe (uh-huh), maybe just stay inside
I know you’re craving some fresh air
But the ceiling fan is so nice (it’s so nice, right?)
And we could live so happily if no one knows that you’re with me

I’m just kidding, but really (kinda), really, really

Please, please, please don’t prove I’m right
And please, please, please
Don’t bring me to tears when I just did my makeup so nice
Heartbreak is one thing (heartbreak is one thing), my ego’s another (ego’s another)
I beg you, don’t embarrass me, motherf*cker, ah
Please, please, please (ah)

If you wanna go and be stupid, don’t do it in front of me
If you don’t wanna cry to my music, don’t make me hate you prolifically
Please, please, please (please)
Please, please, please (please)
Please (please), please (please), please (ah)

From “Please Please Please” by Sabrina Carpenter (2024).