Shhh!!!! lyrics

[OLIVER, spoken]
Some people want diamonds
Expensive dinners
And spontaneous trips to Paris
Others want danger
Scoundrels and sinners
Or sex in the back of a Toyota Yaris

[OLIVER]
But I've learned all of that's not for me, oh no
I am content with a romance I know

I just want a man who won't tell any of his family or friends that I exist
I just want a boy who'll take me in his arms
And tell me, "Don't tell anyone we kissed"
I just want a man who'll hold my hand
As we walk 'round the park
But only where no one can see, or after dark

A man who insists I don't exist

[MEN]
Shh

[OLIVER]
To anyone but him
If we're on the town and he sees somеbody he knows
He'll always make mе cross the street

[MEN]
Like you're non-existent

[OLIVER]
If we're on a date, he'll introduce me as his colleague
To the people that we meet

[MEN]
Oh, "This is my assistant"

[OLIVER]
If we're all alone when we're at his, he'll act all sweet for me
But when the doorbell rings, it's the ensuite for me

He'll make me feel like I don't exist

[MEN]
Shh

[OLIVER]
To anyone but him

[MEN]
To anyone but him
[OLIVER]
And though, there's nothing like a fella
Who saves you on his cell as "Unknown Caller"
And, oh, there's nothing like a guy
On whom you can rely to not say a word when he's overheard
All of his friends call you "fag"

I just want a man to hold me through the night
Then every morning text me

[MEN]
Shh
"Don't tell a soul or else I'll kill ya"

[OLIVER]
I just want a guy who says I'm lying when I try to remind him
That we f*cked on our gap year in Brasilia

I just a man with whom I can go all the way
And when he's done, he'll say

[OLIVER, spoken]
"Get the f*ck off, I'm not gay"

[NANCY]
And why do you think that's what you're pining for?
[OLIVER]
Because it's all I've ever known from boys before

[NANCY]
So now you're worried that'll happen every time?

[OLIVER]
Well, sh*t, that must be why I'm
Looking for a mister
Who pretends I don't exist to
Anyone but him

[MEN]
Shh