Why Am I So Single? lyrics

[OLIVER, spoken]
So, tell me, how does one end up on a date with their ex's colleague?

[NANCY, spoken]
Okay, so I matched with this guy on Hinge

[OLIVER, spoken]
Ooh, sorry
One second
Didn't we decide to underscore this?

[NANCY, spoken]
Oh my God, you're so right
Yeah, sorry

[NANCY, spoken]
Okay, so I matched with this guy on Hinge
We start chatting and suddenly I'm like, "Oh sh*t, I recognise that company name
That is where The Ex works"

[OLIVER, spoken]
And this is 'The Ex'?

[NANCY, spoken]
Yeah, 'The Ex'
So I'm like-
[ENSEMBLE MEMBER]
Ooh-
[NANCY, spoken]
Ooh actually, I think we're going to save that for Verse 2
[OLIVER, spoken]
Keep 'em hungry, you know?
Would you mind babе?

[NANCY, spoken]
So I'm like, "Ooh, do I really want to go for a drink with someonе who shares a desk with the one that got away?"
And I'm like, "Yes, of course"

[OLIVER, spoken]
Yeah, like obviously

[NANCY, spoken]
Yeah 'cause like, what could possibly go wrong?

[OLIVER, spoken]
Well?

[NANCY]
So it's like any other date

[OLIVER]
So you're charming and you're great

[NANCY]
Yes, I've hidden all my flaws, but strap in
Because it's going well, I'm thinking, "What the hell?
I'll ask about my ex, what's the worst thing that could happen?"
[OLIVER]
No, don't tell me, ahh

[NANCY, OLIVER]
Yes, he's moving out to Paris with a girlfriend
What?
Which shocked me
So naturally I cried, my date was terrified
And said, "Hey, let's be friends"
But now I'm pretty sure he's blocked me

[NANCY]
What sucks though, is I know
The Ex is out there practicing Français
Meanwhile I'm sat here in your flat
Back here with you listening to me say

Why am I so single?
Why am I so alone? I'm so ready to mingle
I don't get it
Why am I so single?
My bed's more barren than the backyard of Kris Kringle

[OLIVER]
Hahaha, I don't get it
[NANCY]
Just forget it

[NANCY]
And I think I'm a decent catch
But every time I find a match
No matter what I do
I end up sitting here sinking my troubles in a drink
In your flat still thinking
Why am I so single?

[OLIVER, spoken]
Okay, let's stop this moping and go out on the town

[NANCY, spoken]
No, I'm too sad and alone

[OLIVER, spoken]
Come on, we'll paint it red, baby
Redder than your puffy eyes

[NANCY, spoken]
Great, thanks for that

[OLIVER, spoken]
Ooh, I know, right on cue
Let's go away together again
On another writing retreat
Bash out the musical we've got to do

[NANCY, spoken]
I'd love to, but I've got a very busy schedule of weeping to keep up with, so unfortunately I won't be able-

[OLIVER, spoken]
Oh my God, come on, shut up, it'll be so fun
Remember last time?

[OLIVER]
We got that little countryside Airbnb
I'd make you breakfast at the AGA

[NANCY, spoken]
Oh, yeah

[OLIVER]
And on the night the rain poured, I sat with you and endured

[NANCY & OLIVER]
All five feature films in the Twilight Saga

[OLIVER]
Jacob showed his torso more and more and more
So I quietly opened Grindr
But the app was an abyss, so while you stayed to watch them kiss
I went to bed and had my own happy ending, kinda

[NANCY, spoken]
Wait, what?

[OLIVER]
Actually wow, hearing that now
Makes it sound like I'm some rejectee

[NANCY, spoken]
But no, that's me

[OLIVER, spoken]
Yeah, 'cause

[OLIVER]
For that to be true
I would need to
Have had an actual boyfriend to dump me, ha ha ha

[OLIVER & ENSEMBLE]
Why am I so single? (Why, why, why, why?)
Why am I so alone? I'm so ready to mingle (They're so ready)
I don't get it
Why am I so single? (Why, why, why, why?)
They say, "Go get 'em, tiger", but I'm no Bengal

[OLIVER, spoken]
Rawr, like the jungle cat

[NANCY]
Thanks, we get it

[OLIVER]
Shall we duet it?

[NANCY, spoken]
Sure

[NANCY & OLIVER]
And I know I'm a f*cking ten, but when I'm out there fu–
Dating men

[OLIVER]
No matter what I do

[NANCY]
No matter what we do

[OLIVER]
I end up sitting here sinking my troubles in a drink
In my flat still thinking
Why am I so single?

[NANCY, spoken]
So we poured ourselves another glass, chatted more
But don't worry, we didn't lose our composure at all

[OLIVER]
You're so nice

[NANCY]
You're so nice

[NANCY & OLIVER]
Both of us are just so very nice
And handsome

[NANCY]
We are well-read

[OLIVER]
Good at giving advice

[NANCY, OLIVER & ENSEMBLE]
We're sexually healthy
And adequately wealthy
So what the f*cking hell is going on? (What the f*ck is going on?)

[OLIVER]
Why am I–

[NANCY & ENSEMBLE]
Why am I so single? (Why, why, why, why?)
I'm trying hard to score, but I'm stuck in goal
I don't get it

[OLIVER & ENSEMBLE]
Why am I so single? (Why, why, why, why?)
The only thing I'm eating out is this tube of Pringles

[OLIVER, spoken]
He doesn't get it

[NANCY & ENSEMBLE]
Why am I so single? (Why, why, why, why?)
Anne's off getting laid, but I'm the other Boleyn girl

[NANCY, spoken]
I never get it

[OLIVER & ENSEMBLE]
Why am I so single? (Why?)
It's like they're singing
"Voulez-vous coucher avec moi"
But I'm not bilingual (Not bilingual)
Je ne comprend pas

[NANCY & OLIVER]
Pourquoi je suis so single?

[OLIVER]
Oh

[OLIVER, spoken]
Yeah, maybe this is why actually

[NANCY, spoken]
Yeah, probably, yeah

[ENSEMBLE]
Why?