Poor Fool, He Makes Me Laugh lyrics

[CONFIDANTE]
They say that this youth has set my lady's heart aflame

[1st FOP]
His Lordship, sure, would die of shock

[2nd FOP]
His Lordship is a laughingstock

[CONFIDANTE]
Should he suspect her, God protect her

[CONFIDANTE, 1st FOP & 2nd FOP]
Shame, shame, shame
This faithless lady's bound for Hades
Shame, shame, shame

[CARLOTTA AS COUNTESS]
Serafimo, your disguise is perfect

[A knock at the door.]

[CARLOTTA AS COUNTESS]
Why, who can this be?

[DON ATTILIO]
Gentle wife, admit your loving husband
[DON ATTILIO touches MEG's (Playing a maid) behind, who is surprised.]

[DON ATTILIO]
My love, I am called to England on affairs of state
And must leave you with your new maid

[DON ATTILIO makes a gesture imitating touching SERAFIMO's, played by CHRISTINE, behind. SERAFIMO turns away, indignant. The audience laughs.]

[DON ATTILIO, spoken]
Though I would happily take the maid with me

[CARLOTTA AS COUNTESS, spoken]
The old fool is leaving

[The audience laughs.]

[CARLOTTA AS COUNTESS]
Serafimo, away with this pretence
You cannot speak, but kiss me in my husband's absence

[The audience laughs.]

[CARLOTTA AS COUNTESS]
Poor fool, he makes me laugh

[The COUNTESS vocalizes, imitating a laugh.]
[CARLOTTA AS COUNTESS]
Time I tried to get a better, better half

[CARLOTTA AS COUNTESS & ENSEMBLE]
Poor fool, he doesn't know

[The COUNTESS & the ENSEMBLE vocalize, imitating a laugh.]

[CARLOTTA AS COUNTESS & ENSEMBLE]
If he knew the truth, he'd never, ever go

[PHANTOM, spoken]
Did I not instruct that Box Five was to be kept empty?

[The audience reacts.]

[MEG, spoken]
He's here, the Phantom of the Opera

[CHRISTINE, spoken]
It's him

[CARLOTTA, spoken]
Your part is silent, little toad

[PHANTOM, spoken]
A toad, madame? Perhaps it is you who are the toad
[CARLOTTA, spoken]
Maestro, da capo, per favore

[CARLOTTA AS COUNTESS]
Serafimo, away with this pretence
You cannot speak, but kiss me in my—

[CARLOTTA croaks. The audience reacts.]

[REYER, spoken]
Gentlemen, please, please

[The audience laughs.]

[CARLOTTA AS COUNTESS]
Poor fool, he makes me laugh

[The COUNTESS vocalizes, imitating a laugh, but she croaks again. CARLOTTA croaks repeatedly.]

[MAN, spoken]
She's lost her voice

[The audience laughs.]

[CARLOTTA, spoken]
Mother! I can't sing!

[CARLOTTA cries.]

[ANDRÉ, spoken]
Bring the curtain in, please, will you? Yes

[REYER, spoken]
Get off!

[FIRMIN, spoken]
Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize
The performance will continue in ten minutes time
When the role of the countess will be played by Miss Daaé
Thank you

[The audience applause.]

[ANDRÉ, spoken]
Meanwhile, we'd like to give you the ballet from Act Three of tonight's opera

[Ballet music starts playing. A cat and mouse game begins between BUQUET and the PHANTOM on the top of the stage while the ballet takes place. The PHANTOM covers BUQUET's neck with a rope and throws him into the void, falling in the middle of the group of dancers, dying by hanging. The dancers and the audience scream.]

[RAOUL, spoken]
Are you alright?

[CHRISTINE, spoken]
Raoul, we're not safe here

[FIRMIN, spoken]
Ladies and gentlemen, please remain in your seats
Do not panic, it's simply an accident
An accident