String of Pearls lyrics

She swings a string of pearls on the corner
The streetlights reflect the light in the water
The string, it snaps and the pearls go sailing
And they splash, and bounce
And roll 'cross the wet street

As she bends to chase the pearls
A car swings 'round the corner
She darts from the eyes of the panic-struck driver
Who's racing to the delivery room
'Cause in the backseat his wife
Is busting out of her womb

And the sack breaks and out come the Siamese twins
Who grow up to become the first President with two heads
Are better than one
He puts his heads in his hands
Says "I gotta put my heads together
I can become the best President ever
And not just president
Fend for yourself"

Signs his name, takes the blame
For all of the names with no shame
In their beliefs
They adjourn and they leave
And in walks a man with a broom
And a knife and blood on his hands
And he sweeps everything under the rug
And goes home to his kids, and gives them a hug
But his wife was not there, she had just left a letter
That said "you'll be much better off without me"
Now his wife took the train to her ex-lovers funeral
Who died in the bathroom, hit his head on a urinal
When they got together, the knowledge was carnal
And the widow was at the funeral, and they had quite a catfight
And they fell into the hole where the casket was resting
And the preacher just left in the middle of the service
'Cause death was one thing, but women made him nervous
And he got into his car and he drove 'round the corner

Then something in the street caught the light in his eye
He pulled over, reached down
And picked up the pearl from the gutter
He didn't know what to think
He brought it home and washed it in the sink
And he gave the pearl to Sister Mary Theresa
Who could not accept it, so she gave it to Lisa
A young prostitute who was missing a pearl
On the necklace that broke late last night