Poor Unsuccessful and Fat lyrics

[RICHARD, spoken]
Time for your sponge bath!

[GORDON, spoken]
Ugh, must I?

[RICHARD, spoken]
Honey, I don't wanna be here either!

(sung)
Poor, unsuccessful and fat
Who would’ve thought I would end like that?
Surely, in no time, you’ll be back to normal
In your evening formal
I’ll be poor, unsuccessful
Poor, unsuccessful and fat!
And getting older

Plus, have you noticed I sweat?
I have a list of things I regret
Don’t tell this story to little children
Cause you're gonna scare them
How I’m poor, unsuccessful
Poor, unsuccessful and fat
And getting older, getting greyer!
Stop mе if you’ve heard this beforе
Cause if you’ve heard this before
Hell, it’s just more of the same!
[GORDON]
Well..

[RICHARD]
Help me
I’m a player!
Who’ll never make it
I won’t make it, I won’t make it!

[GORDON]
No, no, no, no, no, no!

[RICHARD]
Once I was practically thin

[GORDON]
Aww..

[RICHARD]
Now I can eat like I’m Rin Tin Tin
Soon you’ll be back home
A success in training
I’ll be here complaining
That I’m poor, unsuccessful
Poor, unsuccessful and fat
And getting older
[GORDON]
I am not successful
I am not so damn successful..

[RICHARD]
I’m getting older!

[GORDON]
I am not successful
I am not so damn successful

[RICHARD]
I’m getting older!

[MR. BUNGEE]
You’re not successful

[GORDON]
I am not successful

[MR. BUNGEE]
You’re too old to be a failure

[GORDON]
I’m too old to be a failure
[MR. BUNGEE]
Your future's looking cloudy

[GORDON]
My future’s looking cloudy

[MR. BUNGEE]
Your sister is a whore

[GORDON]
My sister’s a receptionist!

[MR. BUNGEE]
Bet your tush you’re unsuccessful!
Don’t mean to make this more stressful
Than it’s already become
But! you’re poor, unsuccessful and.. dumb
Poor, unsuccessful and dumb
And untalented!
Poor, unsuccessful and dumb
And untalented
Morbid, psychotically grim and untalented

That’s what we say about him
He’s untalented!