The Civil War on Drugs lyrics

And now, a WKUK feature presentation

In the year 1861, the tensions between the northern and southern states were at an all-time high.
Enraged by perceived unjust taxation, the South saw itself as the victims of northern extortion. The North struggled desperately to keep the young nation intact, as our forefathers had envisioned.
The threat of violence loomed no longer as a possibility, but as a certainty
No one knew where, no one knew when; but war was coming

The Civil War On Drugs

Teacher: Remember class, read your Nietzsche, read your Nietzsche.
Oh, Sam, you've forgotten your book.
Okay, and you've forgotten it again. Uh Sam, I can't help but notice that this is your thirteenth stab at the fifth grade, and I'm just wondering if something is wrong
Sam: Well, maybe I just don't give a sh*t about school
Teacher: Tell me Sam, is there anything you give a sh*t about
Sam: Well I guess I kinda like math
Teacher: Really? Sam that's amazing! We could all--
Sam: Psych!
Teacher: Okay okay, Sam! Excuse me, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you not to return to school anymore
Sam: So... I like graduated?
Teacher: You failed
Sam: What's the difference?
Teacher: Just don't come back to school
Sam: Whatever. Suck it nerd!
Teacher: You stupid stupid boy

Dad: Thrust and parry son, thrust and parry!
Trevor: Dad I don't wanna do this. It's like 11 in the morning
Dad: Oh come now son, I'm training you to be a real man. Now bounce like I do, on guard! You're not bouncing, come on bounce like this!
Sam: Wassup Trevor
Trevor: Hey Sam
Dad: Samuel, to what do we owe the pleasure?