It Pains Me To Tell You lyrics

[Verse 1]
It pains me to tell you I've held a semi-auto
It pains me to tell you I've shipped the cargo
It pains me to tell you I'm from chicago
It pains me to tell you I love chicago
I feel pain explaining my past
All my life I've felt like an outcast
I just want my sh*t on blast
I give women the flower
Yet they give me no power
I rap every hour every day, every night
I sit in the dark with no light
Illuminate your mind like ab-soul
Living my life on parole
I stuck my di*k in raps glory hole
And they just let it go
I only see crickets at my shows
Cuz I have no tickets for my shows
Do I have shows nobody knows
I rap and I rap but the fingers do not snap
I had a dream I was a pharaoh
Yet when I look around my grandmas house the king wheres a sombrero
Chi-Town in the lake dead bodies drown
Chief Keef and Lil Reese shot JoJo down
Not an accusation just a conceptual statement
sh*t maybe I should stay in my mothers basement
I chase mints for fresh breath
Although the hoes hate me to death
Looks like I have nothing left
Oh wait music
They say I'm sick no you sick!
That's that self hatred
Guess I have nothing I keep sacred
[Verse 2]
It pains me to tell you I have ambition
It pains me to tell you I have no religion
It pains me to tell you I sit at home like a pigeon in a city
It pains me to tell you my life is sh*tty
Im a secret call me Walter Mitty
Life is full of surprises
They make us close our eyelids
Yet when we open we see a gift wrapped package with our loved one with closed eye lids
I don't like surprises
I put on disguises everytime I leave my house
Feel so small in this game like Lil Mouse
I am employed
Previously deployed in Chiraq
Everyday their was the threat of being attacked
I can't believe momma got smacked
sh*t how could I have lacked
Backpackin slackin but im not a slacker but I am a cracker
I guess thats enough to get shot out here
We live in fear
I just want to disappear
Im deaf in one ear to happy conversations
Im free in the other to evil conversations
So many temptations to be patients at mental stations
If I was Wiley I'd feed you vibrations
Now I'm filling applications
I'm pained day in, day out
Sometimes I want to go in the sun and lay myself out
Cuz everybody dies in the summer
It pains me tell you that sh*t is reality
It pains me to tell you it has to do with nationality
It pains me to tell you we live in a world of brutality