Im a c*** song lyrics

Vince (spoken): I, Vincent Fox, ...am a c**t.
[Music starts.]

Vince: From Millwall to the Albert Dock, there's one thing plain to see,
In this entire borough there's no bast*rd bad as me.
I guess it ain't a huge surprise that I have got no friends,
Nelson: Well it was you that had your stag do ethnically cleansed.

Vince: When I was a little cub my grandma said to me...
Vince's grandmother (in a flashback): Please, son, put the gun down, you can have all my money!
Vince: Silly cow, she kept her savings underneath the bеd,
So I nicked her f**king pension book and shot hеr in the head!

Cat: He robbed me!
Beagle Dog: Knifed me!
Bulldog: Shot me!
Chihuahua: He poured acid down my throat!
Rottweiler: He managed to castrate me even though the knife was blunt!
Chimpanzee: He took me to Oxford and abused me in a punt!
All: I think that we all agree he is a massive-
Nelson [interrupting]: Um diddle, um diddle um diddle ai! Um diddle, um diddle um diddle um...
Um diddle, um diddle um diddle ai! Um diddle, um diddle um diddle um!

Vince: You've got to give me credit, though, for keeping our streets clean,
I'm on the Atkins Diet so I'm eating tramps and queens!
Nelson: Why don't you join the BNP? I think you'd fit in fine.
Vince: You must be f**king joking- I know where to draw the line!
Cat: He robbed me!
Beagle Dog: Knifed me!
Bulldog: Shot me!
Chihuahua: He poured acid down my throat!
Rottweiler: He managed to castrate me even though the knife was blunt!
Chimpanzee: He took me to Oxford and abused me in a punt!
All: I think that we all agree he is a massive-
Nelson [interrupting]: Um diddle, um diddle um diddle ai! Um diddle, um diddle um diddle um...

Vince [to Penny]: Remember when we first met on that night out in the park...
Penny: You were so romantic, I just felt an instant spark...
Vince: If I'm being honest, that spark was a taser gun,
I knocked you unconscious and then I had my bit of fun!

Cat: He robbed me!
Beagle Dog: Knifed me!
Bulldog: Shot me!
Chihuahua: He poured acid down my throat!
Rottweiler: He managed to castrate me even though the knife was blunt!
Chimpanzee: He took me to Oxford and abused me in a punt!
All: I think that we all agree he is a massive -
Woooaaaaaaaah...............!

All: He robbed me! Knifed me! Shot me! He poured acid down my throat!
He managed to castrate me even though the knife was blunt!
Nelson: He anally invaded me as a publicity stunt!
All: I think that we all agree he….is….a….mass....ive
C***********....**********T!!
Vince: I'm a c**t