London Underground lyrics

[Verse 1: Suman Biswas]
Some people like to get a train to work
Or drive in, in a Beamer or a Merc
Some guys like to travel in by bus
But I can't be bothered with the fuss today
I'm gonna take by bike
Cause once again the Tube's on strike
The greedy bast*rds want extra pay
For sitting on their arse all day
Even though they earn 30k
So I'm here in the pouring rain

[Hook 1: Adam Kay & Suman Biswas]
Where the f*ck's my f*cking train?
London Underground, London Underground
They're all lazy f*cking useless c*nts
London Underground, London Underground
They're all greedy c*nts
I want to shoot them all with a rifle

[Verse 2: Adam Kay]
All they say is 'please mind the doors'
And they learn that on their two day course
This job can be done by a four year old
They just leave us freezing in the cold
What you smell is what you get
Burger King and p*ss and sweat
You roast to death in the boiling heat
With tourists treading on your feet
And chewing gum on every seat
So don't tell me to 'mind the gap'
[Hook 2: Adam Kay & Suman Biswas]
I want my f*cking money back
London Underground, London Underground
They're all f*cking useless c*nts
London Underground, London Undeground
They're all greedy c*nts
I want to shoot them all with a rifle

La la la la (x2)

[Verse 3: Suman Biswas]

The floors are sticky, the seats are damp
Every platform has a f*cking tramp
But the drivers get the day off when

[Hook 3: Adam Kay & Suman Biswas]
We're all late for work again
London Underground, London Underground
Wa wa wankers
They're all wankers
London Underground

[Outro]
Take your Oyster card
And shove it up your arsehole