Dear Dr Newland – new line
Ree Mrs. Connor – comma
We saw your patient Mrs Connor who presented in a coma
And we think that what was wrong is a subdural haematoma – comma
Her history's a mystery, her GCS was 9
And she was on ventilation now she's stable – stop, new line
She had a broken neck of femur, broken neck, and broken nose
She's now in neck fixation - open brackets; brackets. Brackets closed
We noticed her colostomy, her temporary nephrostomy
We did a laparoscapy 'cause we thought that, apostrophy, 'd be necessary
To elucidate any problems underlying
Underline, err.. Underlying, please, Angela
She had trouble with her colon, 'cause they found a mass had grown on it
However, semicolon, it turned out to be benign
And yet they did a large resection, from her flexure to her rrectum
That excision's a decision I don't understand. New line
She has... Dysdiadokokinesis – That's spelt
Dee-why-ess - dee-aai-aye-dee-oh-kay-oh-kay-ai-enn-ee-ess-ai-ess, comma
I should also really mention that she went into retention
With a urinary infection and her leg stuck in extension - correction, flexion
Sorry, Angela
She has a cerebellar tremor, comma, possible rubella
Dyspepsia, dyslexia, and fractured left patella, comma
We learnt that she was burnt so bad, she had to have a graft
Now we're very happy how it looks, full stop, new paragraph
Oh Angela... Can you add that she's on warfarin incase she has another mini-stroke – stroke, stroke
We organised an ECG and BCG quite recently
Her TSH and FSH were not yet back today
But her ESR and CRP should reassure us
So we'll see her back here in my clinic
Yours sincerely
Adam Kay