Tree lyrics

[Intro: CHRONIC]
f*ck this depression sh*t man

[Verse 1: CHRONIC]
Uh
Before I grip the pen I grip the razor
I was thinking "f*ck the rap sh*t, I'll do it f*ckin' later
And all I wanna hear is "Sorry Xavier"
I'm worried, need a savior
Doc saying "Take the meds, they'll save ya"
But I don't wanna take em, marijuana that I'm toking
Sorry Ma, your son is f*ckin' broken
Depression gone and broke in and broke him
The life I've chose ain't helping
I'm hell bent on self-destruction
I've been feeling like I'm nothing, it started as a youngin'
I wrote my first suicide note at nine, next year I tried two times
It was silly sh*t like tryna drown myself and neck
Shaking from no breakfast, I can't eat, I can't sleep
And no one's understanding me
I dissapoint the family, I'm smoking weed, I'm tryna be free
Just dig a bigger f*ckin' hole, everything's a trigger
I don't know if I can cope, tryna kill my liver
Tryna tie another rope, I think I've lost all hope
And I'm really sorry, I know you've worried and so have I
Barely survived, I'm scraping by (Brrrt)
[Verse 2: VANS RAT]
I seem to hate myself, inside I'm [?]
They say I need some help, I said I've found it
No bottle can seem to cure, my emotional damage
You know it breaks my heart, that you planned it
Torn apart, falling to bits, I remember sitting on the tramp as kids
Seeing all the photos from years ago, family so close I would call you bro
Now things have changed so much, now tears will fall with love
Now days keep piling up, won't let go, I'm not giving up on you

[Chorus: VANS RAT]
That tree, Conor's tree
Now fills a part of me
It sits in rain and shine
It holds a piece of time
Your life is part of ours
And know we love you
I wish I could go back
So I could hug you

[Outro: VANS RAT]
Just know I love you
And I miss you
I just love you