Refill lyrics

[Intro]
Yeah, yeah

[Verse]
And I still stay high, just more lowkey now
I quit the lean and OE, it only slowed me down
Been tryna get a hold of myself 'cause you would never hold me down
My new girls miss the old me now, yeah
And sh*t, I think I hate myself, yeah
Like lately I just ain't myself, yeah
Been on the road tryna save everybody else
And I can't even save myself but sh*t, uh
Been disgusted in the mirror, tryna function at this function
I ain't even wanna be here but I gotta show face more
I gotta see my place more
I'm used to being homeless, I don't ever like to stay long, yeah
So how could I expect you to wait
When I been wakin' up lately and forgettin' the state
Stay in a daze so I'm spaced out, forgettin' the day
Tryna remember why the f*ck I even get in this game
It's like, everytime I see my nieces they older
Ain't even seein' 'em grow up, what if they needed a shoulder?
And the girl I love is still on the block I left
Think my old friend is smokin' rocks again
I just wish I could talk to him
I just wish we could start again to relive this sh*t
Before the city took our innocence
Tryna play the hand I'm dealt, from where they dealin' sh*t
I can't even deal with sh*t, f*ck rap and a deal and sh*t
I feel guilty, my old homies is still in the field, really
Probably screamin' f*ck me, so I don't know how to feel, really
They all say they love me, look around they ain't still with me
A lot that's concealed in me, a lot of it's ill
Gettin' high so the pain'll stop
When I was younger, I used to think I could save the block
Now I'm spending bands like I don't know how to save a lot
My ex say I changed a lot, I can't even say that it's not true
All this fame, I forgot Lou, all this drink, I forgot you
At least I did until the mornin'
I used to go places people knew me so I could feel important
I used to want people to see me and now I can't avoid it
And it still ain't fillin' this void
I don't know what's real anymore
I'm lyin' to people I love, I don't think I feel anymore
A lost boy with lost marbles
I lost star and found stardom
I found me when I lost all 'em, yeah
I dream about you and I don't know what it means, yeah
Some Jean Grey sh*t, I don't know what it seems like
But I fell a fiend and rose a Phoenix, my flow the meanest
They ain't get the vision, I always seen it
f*ck the scene, I seen what it does to people
So f*ck it, y'all could keep it
I'll die the meanest and live the nicest, I didn't write this
I bombed the paper like ISIS
A bad vibe is in your words you not speakin'
I could peep it so I'm defeatin'
Anyone who think they runnin' this race that I started
With the baton they never gave me I'll take it the farthest
I need million dollar mansions, you thinkin' apartments
Guess that's what set us apart, dawg, you thinkin' in boxes
And I left that, kid from the West that
Said f*ck dealin', no drug cured 'em, I'm stuck ill
And Wayne before prison too dedicated so f*ck ceilings
And f*ck feelings, in this cycle of life I'm one-wheelin'
Training-wheel rappers be braggin' 'bout how they never fallin'
Ain't changed they number but wonder why I was never callin'
I call it spade-to-spade, hands I'm dealt
Bet I play blind folded and still Blackjack while I call your bluff
All these rappers you callin' tough, sh*t is all a front
I never fronted or backed down, it was all or nothing
Remember days that I ain't eat and got a smaller stomach
Remember we was smokin' weed, they on a stronger substance now
And a lot of them turned they back on me
I left home with no intentions of turning back, homie
The drugs stopped workin' while I'm battlin' this
I was broke, all I had was reality checks
Losing people over business and they say don't take it personal
It isn't, but I'm startin' to think different
Yeah, but I started to think, listen
f*ck the dissin' and "Who's missin'?"
Remember why I even started this mission
I can't do sh*t if my heart isn't in it
My minds gone and man, that sh*t has been gone for a minute
But then again, everyone that I ever met up in this game shady
Ironic, I'm the one that they compare to Em
I played crazy and got lost in that sh*t
On some Heath Ledger sh*t but still he'd never quit
I'm from Painkiller Paradise, where E wet and spliffs all they know
I told myself that I would be better, b*tch, yeah
Sometimes I wish I picked up a different profession
But how else could I deal with this built up aggression?
f*cked over so many times but I still been finessin'
sh*t, sometimes I think I'm cursed but it's still been a blessin'
I lit the fuse, would've been quit but got sh*t to prove
My sh*t list is a page or two
I charge it to the game and paid my dues
So listen, dude, I got sh*t to move
From the same hood as some killers but I got different views
I speak ill, it's love, peace, but I beat kill each scale
Doc said I'm sick, sh*t, I agree still
I'm prescribed to real sh*t so here's a free pill
Back-to-back like Meek Mill if you need a refill, yeah
If you need a refill
[Interlude: Lou's Mom]
Hey, sweetie
Ugh, I'm sending you a big hug, my love
I was just thinking about you too
Just hang in there, just— just for today
Just for today, papi, know that I love you
Know that this too is gonna pass and it sucks
And I'm so sorry, I am so sorry, my heart bleeds for you
What you're going through, all of this
You can do this though, I know you can
Just right now, need you strong too
I love you, I love you so much baby
Bye, honey

[Outro: Alina Baraz]
I'm all yours, all yours
And I'm all yours (Show me)
I'm all yours, all yours
I'm all yours