There Ain’t Nothing Like A di*k lyrics

[OLD SNATCH, spoken]
Alright, Ms. Cooter. Let me tell yous a thing or two's about di*ks!

(sung)
A di*k can act real sweet
A di*k can bat his eyes
He can tell you you're the one
But that di*k's just full of lies

A di*k's, a di*k's, a di*k's
A di*k's, a di*k, it's true
But you ain't never gonna
Find the di*k for you!

A di*k can hit you hard

[MS. COOTER]
Oooh, a di*k can hit you fast!
A di*k can bring you love

[OLD SNATCH]
But that di*k can't make it last

[MS. COOTER]
There's a di*k for every puss
Lots of fish in the sea
[OLD SNATCH]
But they sure as hell
Haven't found the di*k for me!

[OLD SNATCH & MS. COOTER]
There ain't nothing like a di*k

[MS. COOTER]
And the di*k I've found's the best

[OLD SNATCH & MS. COOTER]
There ain't nothing like a di*k

[OLD SNATCH]
They leave you itching with the rest

[OLD SNATCH & MS. COOTER]
You can play with that dildo
Til it makes you sick
But at the end of the day
There ain't nothin' like a di*k!

[OLD SNATCH, spoken]
Now you're getting it, Miss Cooter! Preach, baby, preach!

[MS. COOTER]
My di*k's a different breed
He's got class, he's debonair
His voice is gravelly and soft
And baby, he's got quite a pair
When he talks to me
I get all hot and bothered, you see
I'm positive that he's
The only di*k for me

[OLD SNATCH]
Oh, that di*k has got you good
He's got ya under his spell

[MS. COOTER]
Well at least I have a di*k
And at least I don't smell

[OLD SNATCH]
Hah! You make the same mistakes
Through thin and through thick

[OLD SNATCH & MS. COOTER]
But at the end of the day
There ain't nothing like a di*k

[MS. COOTER]
I want that shaft in me today

[OLD SNATCH & MS. COOTER]
There ain't nothing like a di*k
[OLD SNATCH]
Hey look, a baby on the way!

[MS. COOTER]
Oooh, the way he makes me feel

[OLD SNATCH]
And they sure's are slicks

Both:
But at the end of the day
There ain't nothing
Like a di*k!

[OLD SNATCH, spoken]
And they'll f*ck ya too!

[MS. COOTER]
Ow!

[OLD SNATCH, sung]
Yeah!