The Parable of Glenn McGrath’s Haircut lyrics

[Refrain]
Ooh, ahh, Glenn McGrath
Ooh, ahh, Glenn McGrath
Ooh, ahh, Glenn McGrath
Ooh, ahh, Glenn McGrath

[Verse 1]
My mate Roger got a girl pregnant when he was fourteen
He was so sh*t scared he told me
And when he said that her dad was a cop
I thought he was joking
I told him he’s got to tell someone
And so he went and told a teacher
And the girl eventually got an abortion
He was f*cking sh*tting himself, let me tell you
But six months later, he was f*cking around like always

[Refrain]
Ooh, aahh, Glenn McGrath
Ooh, aahh, Glenn McGrath
How did we win?.... Eeeeeaaaasy

[Verse 2]
"You better watch it," I thought to myself
But Roger was pretty f*cking sure of himself
He was the guy who first bought a block of hash to a party
'Cause I was his friend I was there
When he first showed it to people
We all went down the backyard and he rolled a joint
Where did he get it from?
My parents would have killed me if they knew
Thought we’d all turn into junkies or something
If we had too much
[Refrain]
(Ooh-ooh) Ooh, ahh, Glenn McGrath
(Ooh-ooh) Ooh, ahh, Glenn McGrath
(Ooh-ooh) Ooh, ahh, Glenn McGrath
(Ooh-ooh) Ooh, ahh, Glenn McGrath

[Verse 3]
The last time I saw Roger was last year at the Boxing Day Test
He’d turned into such a fat, normal yobbo c*nt
"The wife nearly didn’t let me out today," he said
And he did all that chanting yobs do, like
"Ooh, ahh, Glenn McGrath"
It got you in the end, I thought to myself as I looked at Roger
Life got you in the end, pal
You were such a c*cky successful winner when we were sixteen
But now you’re just another sad, fat prick
Sitting in the MCG high-fiving in self-congratulation
As if it’s you that had the skill and determination to play for Australia
It’s the c*nts with the bad haircuts that you’ve got to watch out for
There’s never been a popular teenager yet who’s done rats with their life
It’s the f*cking dorks that give it a real go
Glenn McGrath got 5 for 50 that day

[Refrain]
Ooh, aahh, Glenn McGrath
Ooh, aahh, Glenn McGrath
Ooh, aahh, Glenn McGrath
Ooh, aahh, Glenn McGrath