I wanted to dedicate a song to you,
But all of my songs are about ex-girlfriends and puke.
So I sat down to write you a love song.
It was full of clichés
It wasn't impressing anyone.
Even though I tried really hard,
All I came up with was,
"You are a opossum living in the trashcan of my heart.
You're a opossum in my heart"
I'm sorry I left that towel on the floor
So sorry that I snore
Sorry I'm taking my band on tour
Sorry that I'm insecure
Sorry I'm awkward around your friends
Sorry I get jealous when you talk to other men
Sorry I drank all your wine again
Sorry I apologize so much
Yeah, I hope that I don't f*ck this up
Yeah, I hope that I don't f*ck this up
Yeah, I hope that I don't f*ck this up
And she said,
"Don't be so hard on yourself
You f*cking idiot, I don't need anybody else
You stupid as*h*le, I'm for you
and you are for me,
But you've gotta get over your insecurities!"
And that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me
So I tried to reciprocate with something romantic and sweet
When I got home I thought of the perfect thing to say
But of course in that moment, it didn't happen that way
I just held your hand and looked you in the eyes and I said,
"You're pretty rad too, dude
You're pretty rad too, dude
You're pretty rad too, dude
You're pretty rad."