Ding Dong Scrambled Eggs lyrics

[Verse]
Blind drunk barely making the turn
Echolocating my way through the Chinese lanterns
Bathed in boorish red light
Yeah, tonight's going to be a good night

[Verse]
I came here straight from work
In my work clothes, with my work friends, talking work talk, it's the worst
There's that guy who only wears sandals
I guess his face really isn't so bad though

[Chorus]
I learned to f*ck from a magazine
And to be honest it's been a short path from that
To here dancing to “The Edge of Seventeen”
With charming arms around my waist
But in the morning I'll be making some ding dong scrambled eggs

[Verse]
I don't really want to take him home
In a general sense but tonight hang a left
I live near the end of Gravel Pit Road
It's just like “Cheers” but sad
I'm a great Diane—where's my Sam?
'cuz there was nothing wrong with Walter
He was an ok man and we had ok friends. But he loved me like a father
Well not my father
And let’s not take that any farther
[Chorus]
I learned to f*ck from a magazine
And to be honest it's been a short path from that
To here dancing to “The Edge of Seventeen”
With charming arms around my waist
But in the morning I'll be making some ding dong scrambled eggs