Everyday Normal Guy lyrics

[Hook]
I'm just a regular everyday normal guy
Nothin special 'bout me, motherf*cker!
I'm just a regular everyday normal guy
When I go to the clubs I wait in line, motherf*cker!
I'm just a regular everyday normal guy
I got six hundred dollars in the bank, motherf*cker!
I'm just a regular everyday normal guy
And my sexual performances are average

[Verse 1]
I work at customer service for a phone company
I make twelve bucks an hour but that's all I need
I live in a small apartment on a quiet street
I don't go out too much, I like to watch TV
I can't afford a car, I use public transportation
I don't mind, I read 'til I reach my destination
Sometimes a newspaper, sometimes a book
The amount of money I save, the sh*t is off the hook
And I'm not very good with the women
I'm a pretty shy person and I'm average lookin'
Last time I had sex was in 2003
And I am ashamed to admit, but it wasn't free

[Hook]
I'm just a regular everyday normal guy
I get nervous in social situations, motherf*cker!
I'm just a regular everyday normal guy
I get constipated once a month, motherf*cker!
I'm just a regular everyday normal guy
And I make pretty good spaghetti sauce, motherf*cker!
I'm just a regular everyday normal guy
And I get scared when I go see the dentist
[Verse 2]
I'm the Pauly Shore of everyday life:
Easily forgettable, and I'm not very liked
I have an 'according to Jim' personality
I'm as entertaining as a f*ckin' STD
If you wanna mess with me I think you probably can
Because I am not confident and I'm weak for a man
I'll just roll up in a ball while you kick me in the back
Yeah honestly, I probably won't fight back
And I don't have many friends that would back me up
My friend Steve would, but he doesn't look very tough
(You want some of this, b*tch?)
If you rarely get laid put your hands up
If you're not well paid put your hands up
If you got a pet cat put your hands up
And if you got a bad back put your hands up
(I hurt my back two summers ago moving a fridge
And ever since then it's just, not the same
Y'know it, it gets pretty, it gets pretty sore)

[Hook]
I'm just a regular everyday normal guy
My parents, are really nice people, motherf*cker!
I'm just a regular everyday normal guy
I'm somewhat afraid of heights, motherf*cker!
I'm just a regular everyday normal guy
I like the show "Grey's Anatomy", motherf*cker!
I'm just a regular everyday normal guy
And I'm pretty good at makin' paper planes