Uniform On lyrics

[Verse 1: Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer]
She said she wanna f*ck me with my uniform on
She grabbed me by the bat, now it's going, going, gone
I never finish sex 'cause I'm so juiced out
But she nutted three times then we bashed then I bounced
I reside in Blackhawk in a big f*cking house
My community is gated 'cause I don't strike out
Got a room with a chair, got a room with a couch
Got a framed photograph of the time I met Alf
You know I'm not a hamburger but they call me Big Mac
Got the one ton Jimmy and the itty-bitty sack
My ball shrinky-dinky 'cause the 'roids so strong
But it makes the aforementioned Jimmy-jam look long
The name is Mark, and no I'm not Mork
And yes, I eat pork 'cause it's tasty on my fork
And no, I'm not a jork but I'll jork it out the pork
'Cause Noah should have had the Bash Brothers on his Ork
We are the perfect pair to start a new society
Filled with home-run hitting gold glove Goliathes

[Interlude: Siri]
Here's what I found on the web for "What is the plural of goliath?" Goliaths

[Verse 2: Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer, Both]
Oh, we're Goliaths, baby boy
Kirk Gibson’s a pariah, baby boy
I work out with a tire, baby boy
I wonder who can lift it higher, baby boy
Ahh! Lift that tire, b*tchPut your back in it and lift it higher, b*tch
Stab that needle in my ass 'til I am rich
Make me a god with the chemical sciences
Ahh! Baseball, baseball, He-Man hit the baseball
By the power of Grayskull
Rip the skin off and eat the brains out the baseball
Gonna run a motherf*ckin' train on the baseball
Ahh! Don't tell me to be f*cking calm
Whip out my di*k on the Jumbotron
Rip out my bones cause my muscles so strong
Now the pain's so bad that my motherf*cking heart stop