My Barber Is Bald lyrics
by Bo Burnham
My barber is bald, my trainer is fat,
my sponsor is drunken and lazy.
My optometrist is as blind as a bat
and my shrink is batsh*t crazy.
When you look at who is helping me,
you’ll know the reason why
I’ve remained a bald, fat, drunken, lazy, blind,
and crazy guy.