2HONEST lyrics

[Intro: Mekke'l Carter & Vic Mensa]
Loneliness speaks through my smile
It sings the darkest lullaby
La, la-la-la, la-la, la
La, la-la-la, la-la, la
I called a 51-50 on myself
That's how you know I need help
I called a 51-50 on myself
That's how you know I need (Help)

[Verse 1: Vic Mensa]
Tears of a fallen soldier, rollin' down my face
One hand stickin' out of my grave
The whole world left me for dead, Michael Jackson's estate
But I'm too high, I never land
A river that knows its source could never run dry
That's why I had to cut out the middle man
Hate from all directions assassinatin' my character
I felt like Malcom X in J. Edgar Hoover's America
I said the truth and I paid for it, I paid for it
I got on my knees and criеd to the Lord, I prayed for it
I had bounties on my hеad when my sister was in my home
Sleepless nights by the chrome, trigger finger next to my dome
Contemplatin' self-destruction, equatin' myself to nothin'
Fixated on my regression, I felt like Benjamin Button
I collapsed in my depression, I just couldn't write for nothin'
When I stared at my reflection, all that I felt was disgusted
My confidence evaporated, less than a man, I was emasculated
I turned to violence to be validated
Violated probation again and again
My kin and my friends like, "What the f*ck is up with you, fam?
Don't you understand? n*ggas wanna f*ck with you, fam
But you keep f*ckin' yourself and that f*cks with your fans”
[Chorus: SAINt JHN & Mekke'l Carter ]
Pardon me, my n*gga, I believed the lie, I kept it too honest (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh)
The pain behind your eyes tells me that that's not what you wanted (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh)
And it's hard to explain to the people standin' still while you're runnin' (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh)
I was runnin' from the absolute savage that I know I'm becomin'

[Post-Chorus: Vic Mensa & Mekke'l Carter]
I called a 51-50 on myself
That's how you know I need help
I called a 51-50 on myself
That's how you know I need (Help)

[Verse 2: Vic Mensa]
Do you know what the f*ck it feels like to wake up every day in distress?
p*ssed off at yourself, neglect, so you just lay in your mess
And people depend on you, got so much sh*t on your chest
That your train of thought can't seem to find a way to express
I find a notebook in my parents' crib from when I was five
I went inside it said "I hate myself, I wanna die," I cried
I couldn't even fathom a child feeling so lonely
So next time a n*gga tell you 'bout Vic, say they don't know me
I need to be loved, I need to be loved
I needed the drugs 'cause I couldn't do it
I couldn't do it, I was goin' through it
Growin' up, I was a product of my biracial confusion
Neither Black nor White, I guess that made me translucent
I crushed everything I touched, I f*cked every single sl*t, I couldn't bust
It was a knot in my stomach, I plummet into my dungeon
Down in the depths of my darkness, I'm steppin' over my carcass
I'm comin' out of my hatred, tired of my heart bein' vacant
I made a promise, won't break it, I told my mama, "We'll make it"
I told my gang, "We gon' make it", they won't give it to us, we'll take it
One thing that is true is my greatness
Promise I won't doubt, I'll believe it
I'm exercisin' my demons, for the last time
[Chorus: SAINt JHN & Mekke'l Carter]
Pardon me, my n*gga, I believed the lie, I kept it too honest (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh)
The pain behind your eyes tells me that that's not what you wanted (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh)
And it's hard to explain to the people standin' still while you're runnin' (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh)
I was runnin' from the absolute savage that I know I'm becomin'

[Outro: SAINt JHN]
But pardon me, my n*gga, isn't this the life you said that you wanted?
You know the car's movin' fast, what a view, and the women are stunnin'
And it's hard when you're comin' from the bottom, tryin' not to become it
So I'm runnin' from the absolute savage that I know I'm becomin'
Comin', yeah